In The Beginning Was Alpha
If you met me now, you’d meet a jovial, high-spirited individual passionate for ministry and for Christ.
If you met me a year ago, you would’ve found a man who had found a renewed joy.
If you met me a semester before that, you would’ve stared into a face plastered with depression.
I started out my career at UF happy with my newfound freedom, but throughout the next two years, my emotional state slid down a steady decline, and by my third year, I felt dead within. I had trouble pulling myself out of bed because my bland dreams seemed like a wonder compared to my daily life. I always felt tired, my performance as a TA started slipping, and I felt little reason to keep going on. I prayed each night for God to take the pain away, but nothing changed.
But one day, I got a fateful phone call that I was off the waiting list for Alpha, and I told the person on the other end that I’d go. After all, some of my friends were on the team, and I wanted to make sure I went on the retreat before they graduated. The following days were filled with anxiety, however, and I considered calling back to release my spot. After all, I wasn’t in a condition to talk to other people at this point. But in the back of my mind, I thought, “Maybe this is what you need.”
Upon arriving that Friday evening at check-in, I had no desire to socialize with anyone. However, over the course of that weekend, I began to open up to those going on the retreat with me. Gradually, I came to love many of the people there. It was the first time in years that I could talk about love without it referring to romance. It was the first time in years that I felt like I was human.
It was the first time in years that I felt filled with the Holy Spirit.
But my joy didn’t stop there. From that point forth, I continued to be involved with the community along with many other who were on the retreat with me, and they’re my closest friends today. I found a family rooted in love that resided in Gainesville. I now surround myself with people who raise me up to be the best man I can be for others and for Christ. And today, I’m the most joyful I’ve been since coming to UF.
Since attending the retreat, I’ve served on the team twice, and I’m currently serving for a third time. Each time I go back, I get something more from this community. Each time, they pull me in close and embrace me with love. There’s none other like the Alpha community.
Why am I writing about my experience, you may ask? After all, my experience with depression is something I’d never put into writing, let alone put on the Catholic Gators publication.
I’m writing this because perhaps you are a UF/SF/Florida college student who wants an impactful experience (yes, we accept people from other universities). Perhaps you’re at a low point in your life and in need of some love. Perhaps you’re at the prime of your life and are looking for more. Perhaps you’re living it up each day and night, but you feel empty each time you go to bed. Perhaps Christ has topped you off with the Holy Spirit. Perhaps you’re a Christian intrigued by Catholics. Perhaps you’re an atheist who’s seeking spirituality. Perhaps you’re a Catholic looking to come back home. Either way, I’d encourage you to give us one weekend to show you what Alpha’s about.
Now what do you do on Alpha? Can’t tell you — it’s a secret.
