St. Monica and Enduring Patience in Joy
By Viviana Soto DeTeresa
How does one endure patience in joy? This question was answered for me by St. Monica, the mother of St. Augustine.
I had never heard of Saint Monica until my daughter told me to pray to St. Monica when she saw me having difficulties processing when my youngest daughter came out as gay. I began researching St. Monica and the more I learned about her the more I could relate to her. St. Monica was born in 331 A.D. in present-day Algeria. Even though she was Christian, she was given into marriage by her parents at a young age to a Roman pagan named Patricius. Monica and Patricius had three children: Augustine, Navigius, and Perpetua. Unfortunately, even though her husband respected her beliefs, Monica was unable to baptize the children. For many years Monica prayed for the conversion of her husband and mother-in-law, and, as any mother would, she also prayed for her children. The year before Patricius died, he finally converted and so did his mother, a woman who had been very bitter towards Monica.
In time Perpetua and Navigius converted, but unfortunately Augustine was rebellious. After Patricius died, Monica sent the 17-year-old Augustine to Carthage for his education. She was distressed to learn that her son had become a Manichean and was living an immoral life and so she refused to let him eat or sleep in her house. Then, one night she had a vision that assured her Augustine would return to the faith. From that time on, she stayed close to her son, praying and fasting for him. Monica even traveled to Milan when she found out that Augustine was pursuing his immoral ways there. In Milan, Monica came under the guidance of the bishop Ambrose, who told her “the child of so many tears shall never perish.” Eventually Augustine, influenced by St. Ambrose, was baptized at Easter. When Monica realized she was nearing the end of her life, she told Augustine, “Son, nothing in this world now affords me delight. I do not know what there is now left for me to do or why I am still here, all my hopes in this world being now fulfilled.” Monica died in Ostia, near Rome in 387.
St. Monica was a wife and mother who dealt with many difficulties in her life, much like I and many other women have experienced. The thing that I found most impacting was how patient St. Monica was in her praying and how she was still able to feel joy during the many years that she spent praying for the conversion of her husband, mother-in-law, and son. She was often asked for advice by other wives when they had problems in their marriage because of the patience she had with her husband and how she lived in joy even though her husband and his mother mistreated her.
Whenever I struggle in my married life or in the relationship with my children, I ask St. Monica to intercede on our behalf. As I came to know her, I came across a chaplet which I pray every week, not only for my husband and daughters, but also for other women who are struggling with their children or in their marriage. While praying the chaplet, I find peace when I think about how St. Monica prayed for so many, many years for the conversion of her son, Augustine, and that the Lord answered those prayers. In that peaceful place I endure patiently in the joy of knowing that St. Monica prayed so faithfully for her husband and son. I witnessed prayers answered when my youngest daughter stormed out of the house because I did not agree with a decision she made, when she walked out I cried so much, my heart ached. I didn’t know what to do, so I did the only thing I knew would bring me comfort: I prayed the St. Monica chaplet.
A few days later, my daughter and I started talking again and even though we didn’t agree, we came to an understanding that because we love each other, we would respect each other’s differences of opinion. In that moment of heartache I was patient, just as St. Monica was patient, and I knew that I would see the answers to my prayers one day either here on earth or in heaven. I find hope in knowing how St. Monica pursued her son through all his rebellious years, all the struggles that she endured in her married life, and in seeing how she never gave up praying for those she loved.
