How to Stop Dreading the Future
Some Helpful Ways to Deal with the Unknown
What if it turns out badly? What if I don’t know what to do?
What if? What if? What if?
If you can relate to these nagging questions, you are not alone.
I have struggled with anxiety my whole life, and for me, a better term is a sense of dread. This condition embarrasses me because it is entirely irrational. From past experience, I know I will be able, with God’s help, to handle what happens.
I can recite from memory all the cliches people love to recite, such as “Most of the things you worry about never happen anyway.”
Most of the things! Uh-oh. That means some of them do happen!
Cliches are not powerful enough to tackle this situation.
The good news is there is help. Each time I have a recurrent episode of dread, I must dust off my treasure chest of “dread busters” and do a quick workout.
Maybe these strategies will help you, too.
Stop assuming the worst as a vague nameless possibility. If your mind races ahead to the worst possible outcome, deflate that terrifying balloon. Allow yourself for a moment to imagine “the worst” instead of having it hover over you with mysterious power. Name it. Then realize the worst possible scenario is something you could handle even though it is unlikely.
Think of the future as a series of win-win scenarios, a sequence of problem solving activities. You will have numerous opportunities to gather information and make informed decisions when the time comes.
Write down what you are worried about today on a piece of paper. Put it in a drawer and take it out in two weeks. Chances are the issue will have been resolved or will seem far less ominous.
There is also a feeling of freedom that kicks in when you write things down. For me, whatever I am dreading looks smaller in writing than it does in my mind. This process forces you to be specific and isolate issues, one at a time.
Therapy helps immensely. Many of these techniques I learned in therapy years ago. One amazing fact I learned was to relate the origin of the feeling of dread or anxiousness to an event in my past. Describe the earlier situation and realize that today you are a different person, a different age, and you are facing an entirely different situation. You are repeating/reliving a learned response of helplessness or fear, and those feelings can be mitigated by identifying the origin of those feelings.
Focus on your breathing. Inhale deeply through your nose and exhale slowing through your mouth. This activity forces your body to relax.
Similarly, live in the present moment. Realize you are all right now, and you will be all right in the next moment.
Talk to a friend who makes you laugh. There is always some humorous thread in every situation. A friend can offer a different, more objective perspective on your worries.
Pray and ask God for help. He is always willing to help you. Even if you don’t identify as “religious,” try prayer anyway. You are in for a treat!
If you are a Christian, don’t feel like a failure if you struggle with anxiety or let people tell you that struggling with anxiety means you lack faith.
Those patterns of negative thinking may have started in your childhood and are deeply engrained. They don’t automatically dissipate because you are a Christian.
Many, many Scriptures of course do assure us that God cares about our burdens; one of my favorites is “Cast all your anxieties on him, for he cares about you” (1 Peter 5:7).
The best part of my mental/emotional workout is what I do first and last.
I begin asking for God’s help and end by asking God for his perfect will to be done in every situation of my life. I don’t know about you, but I would prefer to have my loving, omnipotent, omniscient Heavenly Father do what is best for me than to try to do everything by myself.
I end by trusting that God has my best interest at heart and remember “We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
The motto of Julian of Norwich was “All will be well.” She based that belief on her strong faith in the Lord, our only true source of real hope!
We have this promise: “The Lord is at hand. Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:5–7).
