Love Isn’t Free
The dangerous belief in so-called “free love” is a lie.
Old timers can remember that in the 1960s “free love” became the mantra for masses of hippies in their drug-induced delirium. They were really advocating no strings attached sex, not love.
Promiscuity isn’t even a cheap imitation of love.
The truth is most of us wrestle with the reality of a permanent, committed loving relationship because of fear. We fear being vulnerable — the possibility of loss or betrayal. We know there is a price tag attached to giving oneself completely to another.
Love is active — a continuously willed set of actions, not simply fuzzy feelings that come and go.
Of course, there are many types of love besides romantic love, and each poses its own demands.
In The Four Loves, C. S. Lewis describes the differences between affection, friendship, Eros, and charity. He also examines the distinction between the major categories of what he refers to as “need-love” and “gift-love.”
“Need-love” is exemplified by the helpless small child clinging to her mother. Although the child is not consciously aware of the cost, she is completely vulnerable, totally dependent on her mother. “Gift-love” in its highest form rises to the level of pure altruism. Clearly, heroes know how much sacrificial love costs.
We have all heard the statement “God is love” and its corollary, “God loves you.” But have you ever wondered what that really means and why God loves you?
Consider this train of thought: If God is love, then loving is His true nature. He must have an infinite capacity for expressing that love in relationship, beginning within the Holy Trinity (which embodies an unending circuit of love) and extending to all of us.
In The Catechism Explained, Father Francis Spirago explains, “To the Holy Spirit, as the mutual love of the Father and the Son, are ascribed all the benefits of God to man; especially the bestowal upon him of his natural life in creation (the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters) and of his spiritual life by his sanctification through grace….The love of God has ever occupied itself with men, but the Incarnation of the Son of God by the operation of the Holy Spirit surpassed all other benefits wrought by Him. It brought mercy to sinners, truth to the erring, life to those who were dead, and hope and faith to the whole world” (Mediatrix Press, 2020, page 83).
Anyone who believes love is free might contemplate the example of love demonstrated by Jesus Christ. Even though He was betrayed by his own disciples, He still allowed himself to be completely vulnerable.
Blameless, He selflessly gave His Life by dying a horrific death on the Cross. Look at the image of Jesus on a crucifix, at the nails in His Hands.
It was a very real death yet one that Love overcame when Jesus was resurrected from the dead.
In the end, the only thing that matters is love, regardless of the cost.
Fortunately for us, Jesus paid the price, and God loves us unconditionally.
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16, RSV).
