Most People (Tragically) Miss the Point of Confession.
Here’s Three Frameworks on How to Get it Right.
Confession isn’t merely checking off the boxes to be a “good Catholic.”
Confession involves more than robotically going down your grocery list of sins. In our final days, we will be judged on how well we love. When we sin, we fall short of our call to love — either to our neighbor, and ultimately, to God Himself. So, when we truly confess our sins, we are doing more than just checking off the boxes.
We reaffirm our identities as children of the God who loves us as the Heavenly Father.
Confession is a crucial part of the process of building our relationship with God, and as such, we have to reprogram our misconceptions behind this Sacrament to allow God fully into our hearts.
Here are three frameworks to help reprogram how you think of Confession this Advent season:
1. Reprogram the guilt associated with sin (before if transforms to shame.)
Usually when we think about our sin, we think about the deep shame associated with it.
From a young age, we’re taught in religious education that sin is bad and when we get punished by our parents, teachers, or any other teaching figure, this feeling of guilt starts to manifest inside our hearts, turning to shame. We associate the action of sin with our identities, so we begin to think ourselves as bad people; and left unattended, we isolate ourselves in our sin, which is dangerous because it leads us to despair.
Despair is especially dangerous because it causes us to lose hope, which ultimately leads us to losing our faith in God. Before the guilt transforms to shame, we need to reprogram this guilt in a way that brings us into union with God, instead of isolating ourselves from Him. Hebrews 6:12 tells us plainly:
“…for the Lord disciplines those whom He loves, and chastises every child whom He accepts.”
This means that this guilt that we feel when we sin is likely God trying to speak to you, bringing to light a sinful behavior that needs to be corrected. He’s doing this because He loves you as His child.
Guilt isn’t such a bad thing, after all.
This is important to remember: we will feel guilt when we sin, and that’s a good thing. This is an indicator that the Holy Spirit working in our hearts to redirect our hearts back to God. What even more incredible is that God uses even our own sin to bring us back into relationship with Him.
So, when you feel the guilt build up, don’t beat yourself up; instead, offer this sin to God that He may correct you and help you feel His love.
2. Reprogram your identity with God.
What is it, really, to be a child of God?
I think we often fall into a trap into thinking that we are doing our own thing, living our lives on Earth, and God is just doing His own thing, living His mysterious life in Heaven. This misconception leads us to form this infinite, universe-sized gap between us and God, harming our relationship with our Heavenly Father.
What loving Father loves His children in absence? Recall the passage in Hebrews from the first point that God admonishes and chastises His children. In reality, God isn’t just floating in heaven, completely ignorant of our lives, but is with us in the present in the guilt that we may feel in sin; from God we cannot hide (Psalm 51:4).
Run back to your Father
Yet it is precisely in our identity as children of God that we are able to run back to Him in the present guilt we feel. Consider then our guilt as a “signal” from God — like a sort of “hey, I’m here to love you, not shame you” from our loving Creator. This is how the guilt we feel is transformed from something that has potential for despair — into something that can be used to bring us into relationship with God.
Remember — you are not just a number to God; you are His beloved.
3. Reprogram how you approach the confessional.
Confession is tough.
You’re admitting your shortfalls to a man. This man may not even know you, and it’s straight up uncomfortable to the point that you’re considering not going.
The Sacrament of Confession, however, is how God intends for us to seek forgiveness (John 20:22–23). Consider the fact that the priest behind the screen is merely God’s “speaker box”, and God is present in the confessional. He longs to reclaim you as His child and is quick to welcome you back into His arms.
God desires to shower His sanctifying grace upon you in confession. He does not want to see any of His children dying to sin. Through His sanctifying grace present in the Sacraments do we find life through Him.
The Sacrament of Confession brings you back into relationship with the God who wants to sanctify you as His child.
God longs for you. Go back to Confession and feel His love for you this Advent season.
