My Cat Is a Tyrant
Why must I obey this little orange overlord?
A few days ago, I was sitting at my desk, writing. My back was to the room, just as it is now — so maybe what happened next was deserved. Perhaps one of the Zombie Twins was guarding the litter box. Perhaps they were demanding a toll for its use. They’re bullies, so anything is possible.
Or maybe Winnie, my little orange tabby and only female cat, was expecting obedience and received inattention instead.
Winnie jumped up onto my desk and sat next to my coffee. At least, I thought she was sitting. Technically, I suppose she was squatting. She looked angry, but then again, she always looks angry. It’s her main mood.
Liquid started to roll across the desk. At first, I was confused — it was five a.m., so my brain wasn’t quite awake. My initial thought was that my coffee cup had somehow sprung a leak.
And then I realized what exactly was spreading across my desk. “Winnie! What the heck?” I threw the cat off the desk, then began tossing other things away from the pee — my cellphone, notebooks, my box of poetry words, my laptop case, the Baby Names 2017 book I just bought.
A pile of index cards was ruined. Whatever important notes were written on them will not be remembered. Those were the only casualties, however.
I don’t have a normal desk — of course not. I have an old army field desk. The side Winnie peed on is the “lid” when the desk is folded up for transport. It’s a little more porous than a normal, wooden desk. I cleaned it twice, but I still need to soak it in vinegar. I can’t smell the pee anymore, but I’m sure the cats can.
I guess I had been ignoring Winnie. She had been pacing around the computer, demanding attention. But I was too focused on my writing. And there were other cats also demanding attention. It was one of those mornings where Fat Zombie and the Muffin Man fight over my lap (Fat Zombie always wins).
From now on, when Winnie even gets near my desk, I sweep her up and put her on my lap. Queen Winnifred gets all the attention she craves. I’m also watching her to make sure it wasn’t a medical issue — but she seems to feel fine. She’s eating and drinking and climbing and stealing, just like her usual self. She’s able to pee just fine. Winnie pees on puppy training pads, so it’s easy to know whether she’s having potty issues of any kind. My old cat Agatha (RIP) taught her to use the training pads. Aggie used to pee on me when she really needed my attention. I guess she passed that wisdom along to Winnie as well.
