My Cat Probably Gave Me a Black Eye
I tried to sleep in today because it’s Sunday. My cat, Sweet Zombie, didn’t think that was a legitimate reason for my not getting up at 5 a.m. to feed him.
He started circling my head, rather like a fuzzy shark. He was purring, and occasionally, he’d stop to knead the pillow.
It was the kneading that got me. On his last circuit, he “accidentally” put his paw on my eye and scratched my eyelid.
“Ow! Why?!” I got up, the heel of my palm pressed to my eye. I stuffed my feet in my slippers and went into the bathroom to survey the damage. It wasn’t as bad as it felt. It wasn’t even bleeding. I put peroxide on it anyway because those claws have been in the litter box (I’m out of saline and witch hazel, either of which would have been a better choice). I smeared on some antibiotic cream.
But my eyelid looks a little puffy. Later, it’ll probably bruise. I’ll have to tell all my coworkers that my cat is abusing me. They’ve heard stories about Sweet Zombie. They won’t be surprised.
It won’t be the first time I’ve shown up to work with a black eye, courtesy of my cat. The last time he scratched my eyelid, I got on Amazon and ordered some claw caps. When they arrived, I gleefully glued them to his claws — a task that wasn’t easy, but I was fueled by a thirst for revenge. He pulled them all off within a few days. I tried putting them back on, but he got so good at taking them off that it wasn’t worth the struggle.
