My Cats Buried Evidence of a Crime
Yesterday, as I stooped to give the litter box a scoop, I noticed something peeking through the litter, something that was not cat poop. It was black and long — my first thought was that they had buried one of my yoga gloves. They like to sabotage my yoga practice, after all.
I was correct in that it was a glove — a black nitrile glove. I have a box of them in the closet, purchased at the beginning of the pandemic, back before we all realized gloves were simply a good way to transfer germs from one surface to another. What were my cats doing with a nitrile glove? And why did they bury it in their litter box? I have theories.
Scenario one
Scooter: *robs a bank*
Fat Zombie: you’ll need to get rid of the evidence. On hooman tv, they flush it.
Scooter: Good idea! *buries glove in litter box*
Scenario two
Scooter: *finds box of gloves*. Hey, Fat Zombie! Why does the hooman have these?
Fat Zombie: On hooman tv, they’re used for committing crimes.
Scooter: The hooman is a criminal? Will she go to jail?
Fat Zombie: Probably. And then we’ll starve. We should hide the evidence.
Scooter: *buries glove*
Scenario three
Winnie: *finds box of gloves* I’ll bet the hooman would be annoyed if I buried one of these in the litter box. Maybe these are part of her yoga practice. *buries glove and laughs maniacally*
Conclusion
There are other possible scenarios, but these three are the most likely. Will there be another glove hidden in the litter this morning? Will they continue to bury them until the box is empty? Cats like routine, so perhaps whichever scenario is true will be played out day after day from now on. If Scooter really is robbing banks, however, he must be hiding the money really well because I haven’t found it. It’s probably stashed wherever all my hair ties and ear plugs are hidden.
