Scaredy Cats
Not all cats are confident daredevils — and thank goodness for that. They’re like people — with different temperaments and confidence levels. Some cats are shy and timid, just like some humans.
Timidity is generally viewed as a negative trait, but it can actually help cats survive in the wild. My sister had a cat named Timmy who was extremely shy. He walked low to the ground, running from hiding place to hiding place. She kept him in the house for part of his life, but he kept peeing on her son’s bed. Eventually, Timmy became an outdoor cat. Normally, outdoor cats don’t live as long, but Timmy lived to be quite old. His motto was “run away! run away!” whenever anything scary happened — and everything was pretty scary to Timmy.
On a side note — Timmy loved me. Only me. I was his favorite human, and even when he lived in the house, my sister only saw him when I came to visit. I won his love with a piece of salami and a lot of persistence.
According to psychobiological theorists, timidity is partly rooted in biology. Animals (like humans) react to their environment differently, and those reactions exist on a continuum from proactive (those confident daredevils) to reactive (the timid cat under the bed). Although shy animals are less likely to reproduce (think teenager who’s too shy to ask out the girl of his dreams), they are also less likely to take risks and get themselves killed.
My cat Ebenezer lives under my bed. When he first showed up in my yard, he was a shy kitten who wouldn’t let me touch him. I could see he wanted to be friends — he’d get about five feet away and meow at me — but if I moved closer, he’d run. It took me several days of sitting with him (and throwing cheese at him) to coax him close enough for me to pet him. But once I did, he fell in love.
Before my three youngest cats moved in, Ebenezer seemed more confident. None of the other cats were aggressive, and so his shyness was less obvious. I had another timid cat — Agatha — and the two of them went from being enemies when they first met to eventually becoming best friends. I believe it was their mutual fear of rain (not just storms — all rain. I have a metal roof, so rain is loud) that helped them bond. They used to hide under the same chair or squish themselves together in some corner when they were scared (and my cat Hoover Higgins would lick their faces to try to reassure them that it was only rain. Hoover Higgins and I used to sit on the porch together during storms. He was a confident daredevil.)
Unfortunately, Agatha and Hoover Higgins both died last October (within 11 days of each other). That’s when Ebenezer started to spend most of his time under the bed. It doesn’t help that my cats Sweet Zombie and Fat Zombie are aggressive jerks. I love them — but they’re bullies.
There are a host of strategies for helping timid cats live their best lives. With Ebenezer, I respect his right to hide under the bed, and I scold the aggressive cats if they try to approach Ebbie’s sanctuary. Under the bed is Ebenezer’s territory — he feels safe there.
I also make sure my lap is a safe place. If Ebenezer is on my lap or lying next to me, I don’t allow other cats to approach (except for the Muffin Man because he’s Ebenezer’s best friend). Sometimes, if another cat is threatening him, Ebenezer will run to me instead of running under the bed. He will also sometimes sleep next to me, smooshed between me and the wall.
I try to make sure to invite Ebenezer onto my lap every day. Some timid cats don’t want lap time, but Ebenezer isn’t shy with me — just the other cats. If you have a cat who is timid with you, meet them where they are. Agatha did not want to be picked up — she would stiffen and squirm — but she liked for me to pet her. She never sat on my lap. She also had no interest in playing with others — humans or cats. She’d get a toy from the toy box and wrestle it by herself.
Ebenezer is a ladies’ man, and he’s now working on building a relationship with my one remaining female cat, Winnie. It’s adorable because they’re both orange. I imagine Ebenezer started this friendship by telling Winnie that “gingers need to stick together.” Having Winnie by his side also builds Ebenezer’s confidence — because she is the angriest little cat who growls when the others get near her. When Ebenezer’s with her, he has a ferocious little bodyguard.
If you have a shy kitty, respect their need for safety. Be sure they have a place to hide — territory that is completely theirs. Give them attention on their terms. These two qualities — safety and love — will help them live happy lives.
