The Case of the Soiled Makeup Brushes: a Cat Mystery
The crime occurred Sunday morning, between midnight and five a.m. Someone climbed up on top of the bathroom counter and threw up partially-digested cat food all over my makeup brushes and my conditioner. It was a grisly sight.
I’ll lay out the clues below and introduce you to the suspects. It’s up to you to ferret out the guilty party. I’m counting on you, detective.
The Crime Scene
The attack happened on this counter. Most likely, the perpetrator perched on top of the jewelry box. The makeup brushes were coated with puke. The deodorant was splashed, and the brown jar up against the wall — my conditioner — was covered in it. This means the culprit moved during the attack — puking down the front of the jewelry box, then moving to the side to puke some more.
The suspects
Ebenezer is a large, orange male tabby. He has a surly disposition and no alibi. However, he’s also a bit clumsy and weighs sixteen pounds. It’s unlikely he could have done this without knocking everything off the counter.
Fat Zombie is also large, but he’s surefooted and likes to hang out in the bathroom. His motive? He may have been angry that I’ve been limiting his time outside. This may have been revenge. He was in the house during the attack, so he had the opportunity to commit this crime.
Sweet Zombie could easily have done this. However, he has an alibi — he was sleeping on my legs at the time. This was suspicious behavior, however, as that isn’t his normal sleeping spot. Although I don’t think he’s the culprit, he may have been an accomplice.
Scooter is small enough to navigate this crowded counter, but he has no real motive. Nor have I ever seen him throw up. However, he has no alibi for the time in question, so we can’t rule him out as a suspect. He doesn’t get along with the other cats, so maybe he was trying to set someone up.
The Muffin Man has no alibi. In fact, he should have been sleeping on my legs. For some reason, Sweet Zombie was in his spot, a fact I didn’t discover until morning. I assumed the cat sleeping on me was the Muffin Man, as that has been his sleeping spot for years. Did he ask Sweet Zombie to cover for him? Was Sweet Zombie supposed to move before I discovered they had changed places? Although the Muffin Man has no motive beyond general mischief, his behavior certainly warrants suspicion.
Winnie is my main suspect. She is fond of the bathroom counter, and she loves throwing up while perched someplace that makes cleanup awkward. She likes the splatter effect. Also, you know how killers sometimes return to the scene of the crime? And, according to shows like Forensic Files, sometimes they try to get involved in the case, such as joining the search for the missing person? Winnie did something similar. As I was cleaning up the mess, she sat on the sink and watched me, offering commentary on what a terrible mess someone made. She has no alibi, and she has motive — she loves to cause trouble.
What do you think? Who is the guilty cat? Let me know your suspicions in the comments.
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