Facilitation — the dinner party principle
Facilitating a group interaction, workshop or meeting is somewhat similar to how I approach hosting a good dinner party.
Novelty costume party or sophisticated soiree?
Just like deciding what kind of experience you’d want your dinner party guests to have, a group interaction at work needs the same kind of consideration.
Are you looking for the fun and frivolity of the costume party or a sophisticated 5 course meal intended to impress the mother-in-law?
What is the purpose of your group interaction?
What do you want your guests to walk out with having felt, experienced or achieved together?
By starting with “Why are we here?” and “How can attendees contribute to the session?” you can increase the probability of your audience being engaged throughout and leaving having achieved the outcomes.
Avoiding the “Bridget Jones” moment.
Let guests know what they’re signing up for.
There’s a famous scene in Bridget Jones where she turns up to a garden party dressed as a bunny whilst everyone else is in formal attire, she ends up disheartened and embarrassed. Not something you’d want a guest to feel…
Make sure the attendees know what they are getting into, why they should bother attending in the first place and what they can be expected to do to make it a success.
Be explicit in advance to your session:
Plan the meal — design an experience.
It’s time to plan the meal and figure out how we’ll transition between courses.
If you want to build engaging experiences you need to think about how people will interact to get the best out of their time together.
I like to see any group interaction I facilitate in the context of a narrative. As Facilitator I see my job as helping the group transition through that narrative, all the while signposting them on route to reaching the end point.
Much like hosting, we want people to move seamlessly from appetiser to starter, from starter to main and so on.
In the remote setting, unlike in real life, some of the organically occurring conversations can be stilted.
For example, if you find yourself asking a question to the group to consider or discuss and are met with a wall of silence, it could be a sign that a less intimidating space might allow for people to open up. Equally in longer sessions you’ll want a mix of whole group discussions (much as you would at a dinner party) but for variety you’ll want a change of pace, or tone (much like when neighbours at the dinner party table turn and chat to one another about subjects that interest them).
As a Facilitator, don’t be afraid to use tooling to recreate more intimate conversations (through breakouts for example) or facilitating group playback discussions to bring everyone back to a singular (dinner party) conversation.
Be conscious about creating the space and tone you think will best benefit your guests.
Choosing the right “containers” can help.
You need to choose the right container for the type of interaction and outcomes you’re aiming for.…
I like to see each activity in a group interaction as a “container” to help those attendees achieve something.
Different containers have different qualities and purposes. If you choose the right container, you’ll have a better chance of holding the intended contents in the right way. You need to choose the right container for the type of interaction and outcomes you’re aiming for.
- Sketch out a storyboard of the interactions based on the target outcomes and interaction approach you’re designing for. For example:
- Is it about broad, open thinking and ideation? Then choose interactions that encourage lots of discussion, posting of thoughts, unguarded and safe suggestions to throw away later.
- Is it about honing down to a specific solution? In which case you might choose formats that encourage focused discussion or prioritisation aimed to build consensus or shared decision points.
- Is it about a journey from one type of thinking and interaction to another?
Think about your end destination (dessert) and work backwards. What are the key thinking points/ discussion areas or types of collaboration that offer the best build up to the final course?
A good host is a conductor of shared experiences.
I love a dinner party where you feel welcomed by the host. You know a good one because they take care to make sure you’re comfortable and are able to read the room, keeping the evening moving along with momentum.
Facilitating a good group interaction is much the same.
When your audience arrives, as a Facilitator you set the tone. Your energy and skill in creating a comfortable space during that interaction is important. A group interaction can be bolstered or hindered depending on how you invite people into that space and “show up” as a it’s Facilitator.
Some things to try…
Get people talking as soon as possible.
- Icebreakers are great to get people “in the room” doing something a bit silly and breaking the tension — but not to everyone’s taste or necessary sometimes so use your judgement.
- A favourite of mine ahead of workshops is to subscribe to the Check in protocol — it allows you (as a Facilitator) to grasp the sentiment of the people in that moment, but also allows the attendees to be more self aware of their own energy and the energy of others (building vulnerability and empathy ahead of the “work” beginning).
Move between courses — don’t let the food get cold!
- Remind people why they’re here and what you’d like them to experience during their time together. Being clear on this upfront helps everyone stay on point.
- Facilitation is about honouring the task in hand within the constraints of the time. No one wants to have to skip dessert to run for the last train… So gently but diligently move interactions through the narrative, manage the conversation so it can transition through to reach a conclusion where possible.
No one likes to hear just one dominant voice at the table all night…
Have you ever been to a dinner party where one person has completely dominated the conversation? Where everyone else is silent and bored into submission during the main course?
Well, a host never wants that.
- Read the room and monitor for equality of voice. This is especially important in remote settings when that somewhat loud individual might miss the behavioural cues of others (the brief rolls of eyes, the anxious tapping of forks to signal an overstep for example).
- As Facilitator, you may need to take the role of gently bringing equality back to the conversation. A gentle interjection, a brief paraphrase to create space to ask what others think or to move the conversation along. Don’t be afraid to do this, it’s your role and the group will thank you for it in the end.
If you have to give guests a doggy bag, let them know what’s in it.
Sometimes there’s leftovers and it’s a shame to let it go to waste, so pack it up to be gobbled up later.
If there’s next steps or actions to do, be clear on what they are and what is needed to help them conclude, but also celebrate and reflect on what they’ve achieved in the time spent so far.
I like to take a moment to ask the attendees “What’s one thing you’re taking out of the time we spent together today?”
You might be surprised at the differences in response. It’s important to note all responses are valued and valid. Any reflection benefits the attendee as they commit that experience to memory, but also provides fast feedback to you, the Facilitator.
The clear down.
The hoards of guests have left, you’ve cleared the plates and washed the cutlery — well done you.
I hope some of these tips serve you well for the next group session you facilitate or indeed, the next dinner party you host.
