The Asian American Dream: Dictated from the start
Asian Americans have often been looked at as the “model minority,” a myth that believes the hardworking, persevering, and general determination of Asians stem from their quiet nature. Already, there’s this stigma behind how an Asian American should act, but the questions to ask are whether the idea came first and pushed Asians into the role or came into existence after general trends of Asian behavior, and, depending on the first one, should reforms be made from the Asian or American side. Simu Liu’s autobiography, “We Were Dreamers,” recounts, not his generational story to the world but also his parents’ journey to inspire Asian families experiencing the exact same differences in culture, values, and goals, from not making the same mistakes that his family made. However, although Simu argues that children should tell their stories, he doesn’t delve deeper into how it likely doesn’t stem from the problems of their parents, but the underlying American culture that subtly pushes them down.
The greatest difference, which Simu doesn’t touch upon, is the loss of a monocultural structure to that of a multicultural one. In an incredibly nonuniform country, it’s extremely difficult to find a community that’s openly willing to listen. Asian communities that end up being created are homogenous, enclosed, and private: reminiscent of the lost culture in their home countries. Furthermore, these communities don’t speak out because people in other communities don’t listen. Asian Americans make the most amount of money on average. And, due to this, American culture idolizes them as the model minority, the successful minority. Does a minority propped up by stereotypes of success deserve to tell their stories? Or will they be discarded and ignored as they are defined by their success, not the sacrifice it took to achieve it? And, if, from the start, people aren’t willing to listen, why bother learning to communicate and tell their story? Under these lenses, it’s no surprise that Asian immigrants turn to computers, math, science, and numbers, the universal language, especially when it tends to associate itself with economic stability and prosperity.
However, the children of their parents don’t have the same experience, and this is where Simu’s story starts. At the early age of four and a half, Simu moved to Canada. Conflicts defined his childhood as he craved for social connections between him and his friends whereas his parents wanted him to stay home to study and work, whether that meant looking ahead in class or even learning subjects years more advanced than his grade level. Early on, he fulfilled these roles well, but expectations of perfection and cultural differences turned Liu towards rebelling by partying, hanging out with friends late at night, and slipping grades. Liu’s story is a cookie cutter example of the conflicts that many Asian Americans have to go through in their early years. And, Liu doesn’t blame his parents for reacting in such abusive ways as he paints their story with compassion and empathy, explaining the thoughts and concerns that drove their actions. But, by focusing on the human aspect, I argue he misses the social overtones of it all; he doesn’t explore the underlying reasons why they’re so happy he landed an accounting job, and also why they’re later so disappointed and concerned when he’s laid off and pursues an acting career.
When Asian immigrants move to America, it’s always for a chance at economic prosperity. The dream being to get a stable nine to five job, consisting of numbers: a result based job with no room for failure as long as the numbers were right, no room for chance to reject the work that was done or accept it. Liu was “pushed…as hard as [his parents] could so that [he] would never have to know the struggle of not knowing where [his] next meal came from,” however; the exact opposite occurred when he was dropped from accounting and moved to acting. Jobs that tell stories, in a culture that doesn’t listen that’s too involved with the individual, are not stable, they’re not consistent, and they’re not part of the Asian American dream. They can’t be. The risk of poverty haunts every single decision made by Asian American immigrants that have just sacrificed so much.
To add to that risk of poverty, with the fear of the unknown, is overwhelming, it’s too dangerous from the perspective of his parents. Liu doesn’t explore these ideas of the unknown, and how the only reason the path is unexplored for Asian Americans is because of the difficulty to get people to listen in America, especially as the “successful” minority. The idea of listening to one’s elders is applicable, it is correct, but one’s elders can only teach based on what they know and have experienced.
Although it may seem to be an issue with Asian culture, the issue is actually in opportunity and community in America.. In America, those options are limited. Why speak when no one is listening after all? Especially since, through hard work and endless studying, a couple beatings, arguments, and no childhood, it is possible to achieve a stable nine to five job and “make it” in America. A career path is laid out from the start, it’s just up to the children to take it and accept it.
The resulting issue from this set in stone, no exception, way of living life, results in the home, likely directing most people to analyze the issue under only the scope of the household. In a family where the parents never decided to learn the foreign culture and wish only for the “success,” from an economic standpoint at least, of their children, conflicts are bound to arise as they fail to communicate with their children. Failure to communicate with words makes the only option action, and with each fight, insult, maybe even hit, the only thing being produced is spite and disdain.
Children feel that their parents are taking away their freedoms, and there’s no evidence, while young, that these actions are out of love and concern. As Liu puts it himself, “We’ve always been a family of actions over words, preferring pushing to praising, and letting “put on a jacket, it’s cold outside” stand in for “I love you.” Or, in my case, bringing a bowl of fruit over when I’m studying or doing homework. It’s the small actions that prove their love, but never the direct words, and, while difficult for a kid trying to fight against two cultures, one in listening to their parents, the other defining their parent’s limited experience, unless someone really takes a step back and thinks, they’ll never notice.
Although the stories of Asian Americans are starting to get told, the conflicts in the household still exist. The two ways to solve this conflict is either forcing Asians to adapt their way of thinking through martyrs and risk takers or having immigrant culture. Have stories be heard by not just the people of the same community, but other communities as well. Only with evidence of stability, success, and truthfully happiness, can Asian immigrants really start to create different paths and amend their relationships with their parents.
Works Cited: Liu, Simu. We Were Dreamers: an Immigrant Superhero Origin Story. HarperCollins, 2022.
