When it comes to gender identity, going beyond he/him and she/her pronouns is not something new to our generation, nor is it original to the eurocentric population. There have been several accounts of breaking the gender norms in specific cultural groups in the past, but none of these have caught on with the larger media-consuming population. Not until the 1990s did the term non-binary become popularized among larger political activist groups. And although they had a spot within the queer community, their individual community did not get much recognition until this past decade. Nowadays, respecting each other’s gender identity and pronouns is politically correct. So places within the U.S with a solid liberal core are beginning to see larger groups of accepted non-binary individuals. And while it is hugely satisfying to finally have this core group of people, there continues to be a considerable amount of people who refuse to acknowledge the non-binary identity and an even more significant amount who are entirely unaware that the group exists. Those refusing to acknowledge our identity generally claim that there is a certain level of delusion in the ways we go about life; however, using my past experience and the artwork of Jonathan Lyndon Chase, I will show you how every single label that people in the world choose to identify with comes with a similar amount of craziness.
Whether they respect the group or not, people tend to adopt the stereotypes surrounding what being non-binary means. That narrative usually goes as follows: a lesbian girl with short hair and a muscle tank tries their best to fit into the androgynous category to assure they are being perceived as a lesbian and vice versa when it comes to guys. Maybe they will dye their hair as well, but two things are for sure: they want attention and are just waiting to police any controversial opinion you have.
Unfortunately, while this narrative is not great, it’s far better than the one adopted by those with the controlling influence in the country. The ones who set the laws and decide which norms they go off of have the strongest connection to the old white colonists who put us in this place. Moreover, they reinforce their steadfast beliefs with the teachings of Christianity and expect everyone else to go along. Consequently, they label those who question the dichotomous structure of gender as weird and downright delusional for straying from the norm. To them, it’s best to separate this group of mentally deranged folk from yourself because we choose to live an unhinged and incorrect lifestyle. But who’s to say that they aren’t the delusional ones for following these rules in the first place?
While the word choices above might seem intense, the Trump supporters in my family will not hesitate to reassure you that “deranged” and “delusional” is the proper terminology for my community. And though I would love to tell you that the non-binary community is enough and that I no longer need my family to understand, I have not yet reached that level of maturity. I want my brothers and parents to see me without gender so badly that it hurts. I need to have a conversation where they are thinking about the little consciousness floating around in my head rather than the girl experiencing life in a gendered society. Instead, I get my brother, who was president of his fraternity, yelling at me and walking away mid-conversation for not shaving my armpits.
I am sorry you were raised to want hairless women, and I am sorry that you refuse to actively challenge the outdated concepts you grew up around, but the non-binary community and I will not be catering to your creepy expectations.
Nothing that is generally associated with the gender binary is inherent knowledge. Besides fundamental anatomical differences between those with female versus male genitalia, we do not really know how far the dissimilarities run. Growing up, whatever gender you are perceived as will impact how you are treated; however, the differences you develop from being perceived this way have nothing to do with your inherent nature.
The non-binary community is enthralled with embracing this ‘inherent nature’ rather than blindly following the norms set by old white colonists. It doesn’t boil down to us not feeling like a ‘girl’ or a ‘boy,’ we just deeply challenge the notion that either of these identities should exist. And while it is not my place to tell everyone to question their antiquated beliefs, I think it is more than okay to ask them for a bit of acceptance on the matter and maybe even some understanding as well.
I used to get extremely frustrated when someone would gender a topic without first explaining that gender is a social construct and how most recognized differences between girls and boys are directly related to being perceived as a specific gender in their childhood environments. Still, I would braid my hair and put on rose-scented deodorant, but besides that, I liked to do the same things as my guy friends and saw no apparent differences in our thought trains. It took a while to connect the dots between not believing in gender and being non-binary, but when I finally did, it felt like I was no longer hiding behind all the implications of being a girl. I went from she/her to she/they, and when I spoke to people who identified similarly, I found a level of understanding that I had yet to discover. Through this community, I was also exposed to various people who, like me, express that feeling through their art.
Jonathan Lyndon Chase’s “Crossroads” is a self-portrait that challenges the socially accepted representation of humans by incorporating a mix of traditional feminine and masculine features. The piece shows the artist as a multi-headed human staring blankly at the observer as they sit crawled up with various gendered attributes. Each head’s hair is cut masculinely, and the body has broad shoulders and muscular arms. There are also breasts, thick thighs, lipstick, and eye makeup on two heads. To me, their blank stare is saying, “uh yeah, this is me. Get over it.” Their unquestionable acceptance of themselves radiates from the image, which helps the audience understand that this is not a choice but just simply how they are.
Despite the initial theme of confidence coming from this painting, the body’s crawled-up position seems to be a result of the past judgment they’ve received. Getting constant negative feedback, especially from admired or respected people diminishes your ability to express yourself freely without the fear of being emotionally torn down once again. So, even though our community is filled with some of the most confident individuals around, we are continually taken back to feeling like a child, completely devastated by the refusal to acknowledge our sanity from those who have power over us.
Frankly, living life by the norms set by people living before modern science and technology is absurd to me. Just, take a look at the new Hubble Telescope images. We are so much smaller than we ever imagined, and the number of things that we do not know about our existence is endless. So claiming that “girls do this” and “guys do that” seems kind of presumptuous to me. And with the group’s increasing global connection through media and our recent recognition in legislation, the label of delusional is finally losing its foundation. From here, the group is only getting stronger, and someday soon, the non-binary pronouns will be acknowledged worldwide.
