Firsts

Gulp. I honestly cannot believe I am about to admit this to all of you but the desire to share my experience is strong and worth sharing. I have officially withdrawn from a college course for the first time. Sigh. It still hurts even weeks after the paperwork has been submitted. I’m not telling you this to encourage you to withdraw from a course but rather to share how I came to this heartbreaking decision and what I’ve learned for the future.

If you recall, I was beyond struggling and frustrated with my most recent online course. The material was just not sinking in. I would spend hours upon hours day after day working in the software and still feel as lost as I felt on day one. After many sleepless and tear-filled nights, I swallowed my pride and emailed my professor regarding my struggles and concerns. She immediately responded offering her assistance of which I was greatly appreciative. However, I felt at that point it was too late. Too late to try to learn the material from week 2 at week 8 and everything in between. I just could not do it anymore — mentally, physically, emotionally- I was just done. I met with my advisor and, after a lengthy conversation, we concluded I was making the right decision for me. I signed the papers and left the campus feeling relieved.

Yup, you read right — relieved! It was in that instant I realized this was the best decision for my college journey. So many lessons were learned in such a short semester; it’s OK to swallow your pride and ask for help; it’s OK to step back and take a breather; it’s OK not to be perfect. We all have to do what is best of us and our lives. It may not be part of your original plan, but it’s OK to deviate a little. Most importantly, you have to get back on track. You have to be sure that a small detour doesn’t derail your entire plan.

Summer registration opened April 1, and I will be taking a summer course. Yup summer classes. Never done it before but it’s OK. That class I withdrew from — yeah I still need to take it, and I will, but not right now. The timing just isn’t right but when it is, I promise you I will not let this ONE class defeat me. Take that chemistry — I WILL win!