“To be or not to be?” Are you sure that you are in the right major?

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” We all hear this from our grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, and just about everyone we meet. Some people know exactly what they want to be from birth, but not everyone is so lucky. I happen to be one of the people who doesn’t really know that answer.

If you had asked me this when I was 9, 10, 11, or even 12, I would have said I wanted to be a veterinarian. This career choice would have been fine if in fact I had any pets or livestock to care for. I did not. I was just obsessed with cats. It was only a month after having my first pet cat that I realized I absolutely did not want to be a vet. I completely lost my little mind the first time my own animal got hurt. Yes, I volunteered at cat shelters and fostered kittens, but it was a whole different ballgame when it came to real-life care for an animal. Now that I look back at this childhood memory, I see how little I was prepared to make such a huge adult decision. I had nothing to base my choice on. All I knew was that I loved cats.

This is my beautiful cat Pepper. She is a vital part of my career choosing process. She typically delivers her input when she lays on top of the book she thinks I don’t need to be reading. Her idea of a good career is feeding and loving her all day.

After my catastrophe with being a vet, I moved on to a more artistic career. I wanted to be an actress. Again, this would have been fine if I lived somewhere this could be at least plausible. I still want to be an actress, but it is just not logical for my surroundings. At the same time I discovered theater, I found a great appreciation for literature and English. I swear I read everything. My mind was set on being an artistic person who would act in movies and write books everyone would read. I fell in love with theater and literature, but I felt that this was not something that could be a career for me. However, I persevered and moved on to being a nurse. This one was the keeper. I loved helping people, it paid well enough for me to eventually pay off my school loans, and above all it was a career that made a difference in people’s lives. Nonetheless, when I started to pursue this career, something just felt wrong. Every decision felt forced and wrong. It was as if I was lying to myself in one way or another, so I decided I would still be a nurse and write books in my spare time as I took English class after English class at Cecil. However, I knew in my gut something was still off. I never felt like I was doing the right thing. My mind was at war with itself, and I didn’t feel right about any of my choices.

When I had my pictures done for high school graduation. I took them in my scrubs because I believed I was going to be a nurse. All of my family members got to see this, and this made it hard to admit I wasn’t going to do that anymore.

Now what? Well, I am still figuring things out. I probably spent an entire month of my college career pondering whether or not I was making a mistake. Am I wrong about my preconceived career? Am I making a decision based off the wrong things? Does the job security in nursing outweigh the passion of my artistic soul? After several talks with not only my family members, but also the team in the advising office at Cecil, I finally found a release from the hidden stress I was harboring for months. I decided to choose my classes this semester based upon things I love to do with a few classes that I need to do. I know my decision was right because I couldn’t be happier with my choice of not choosing. All I know for sure is that I love English and theater, and wherever I find myself in these things I will be fine.

This is a photograph of the bookcase in my bedroom. It shows only a fraction of the books I own and have read. I love to read anything from the classic to new young adult fiction. My passion for English influences my writing every day.

I did eventually find something I think would be great for all of my passions, including helping people, and that’s teaching. Who knows, maybe I haven’t found where I am supposed to be yet, and maybe I am wrong about this teaching thing. I am not saying you should change your major every time you get a new hobby, but I believe that fluctuation is fine as long as you have a plan. Such as, if you try to match up your classes so that they correspond with both or even all three of the majors you are choosing from. It’s OK to be unsure, but you will also need a plan of action as well. I am a Type A personality and changing my mind and veering from my already set plan was really hard for me. I am not the kind of person who typically goes with the flow. However, when it comes to making a decision for the rest of your life, I believe you need to be a bit more lenient with yourself. It doesn’t matter what your reason is for wanting to change your major: disapproving parents, pressure of not being smart enough, embarrassment of seeming indecisive. If you feel like something is wrong then you are probably right. “To be or not to be?” Are you sure that you are in the right major for you?