Satirical Articles
Published in

Satirical Articles

Target Corporation is unclear as to why its stores in DC were not given more security ahead of the January 6th Riots at Capitol Hill

After being the victim of much of the violence during the riots this past summer, Target stores across Washington DC are suing the local and federal governments for not marking their stores as potential red zones for riots which would have entitled them to increased federal and district security. Local judges have pointed out that the Mayor of Washington DC failed to mark the Capitol building itself as a potential red zone prior to the planned march on Capitol Hill, making its oversight of Target seemingly less egregious, but Target Corporation is not accepting any excuses.

“We spent the summer facilitating social justice and this is what the government does for us?” a senior official said in a statement to the press. “No one can dispute that our stores were the martyr for racial equality in 2020 and the least a government who cares about us could do is offer us some protection from riots that don’t fit our political beliefs.”

Not a single government official was available for comment.

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store