Don’t think, just do: How I bypass my stage fright
As long as I can remember, I have always had a fear of public speaking. It’s a paralyzing fear that has prevented me from doing a lot of things, from signing up for contests to speaking up when I should.
I’ve always heard from parents, teachers, and adults in general that everyone gets nervous.
But I never see anyone else shaking, hyperventilating, or completely freezing up like me.
You may have heard of this reaction to public speaking called by a few different names such as stage fright, glossophobia, or social anxiety.
Over the years, I have developed a skill I call: don’t think, just do.
This doesn’t take away my fears; I still get goosebumps, hand cramps, and the same faint feeling every time.
But I have learned to ignore them, through practice, patience, and a lot of trial and error.
Presenting: a workshop
Not too long ago, Center Centre hosted Mike Monteiro for a workshop on presenting. He taught us that presenting is an integral part of a designer’s job.
Mike also drove home the maxim that you can’t sell your designs if you can’t present them.
He also conveyed the importance of appearing confident. Otherwise, how can others have confidence in your design or you?
Appearing confident doesn’t require having confidence.
Just like I learned to ignore my fears of presenting, you can pretend you’re confident.
The saying “fake it till you make it” really does apply to public speaking.
It’s a terrifying thing to fail
During the workshop, my anxiety and fears about presenting kicked in. I can usually control my body’s aversion to the spotlight, but the day I did my first presentation it didn’t go very well.
The setup for my presentation required people to crowd around designs on a wall. I’m short, which meant I was encircled by taller people.
This did not fare well for me.
My anxiety kicked in, wrecking my confidence and causing me to struggle to finish the presentation.
I had set myself up for disaster, but I only realized this after talking with Mike Monteiro.
It turns out that trapping yourself with a lot of pairs of eyes when you’re already nervous doesn’t help you appear, or feel, confident. Rather, it aggravates how nervous you already are because you have no room left to breathe.
Down, but not out, I planned my next presentation with a different setup.
Instead of a close gathering, I used a projector and left myself plenty of space to walk around. When the time came to present, I took over the space and controlled the room, presenting my design idea with, what at least appeared like, confidence.
All I needed to do was try again.
The formula for success
1. Surround yourself with people you can practice with.
Start by practicing with people you trust. Once you know you can do it, all you have to do is practice with people you don’t know. There’s less to worry about.
2. Do it despite being uncomfortable.
You won’t learn how to deal with the uncomfortable unless you put yourself in uncomfortable situations.
3. Look, you got through it!
Every time you present or speak publicly, you prove to yourself that you can do it.
4. Now, do it again and again and again and again.
This will help you face your fears in the long term.
Nothing helps dispel fear better than practicing doing the thing you’re afraid to do until you’re comfortable with living with that fear.
My journey
There was a point in my life when I thought things would never get better. My health had tanked, and I was an introvert who was terrified of people.
All my strength went to dealing with my health. I already felt sick, so how could I force myself to feel even sicker by speaking publicly?
My father always told me progress is all about the little steps because they’re what make up the big steps.
This helped me a lot when I was sick and still helps me whenever it seems like there’s still a long way to go because I can look back and see how many little steps I’ve made. They add up.
Learning to ignore my fears was a frustrating process that took me years.
My secret?
I forced myself to be uncomfortable so that my fears became unreasonable to my brain. The more times I forced myself to do what my fears warned me not to do, the easier it became to do those things.
At first, it was going out with a friend. Then it was two friends … three friends, a party, an event, and telling stories to large groups of people.
I now attend events and large gatherings, present my work, and facilitate meetings and activities.
Fear doesn’t go away, but you can stop it from paralyzing you by proving it wrong.
I know that every time my body feels like it’s under attack, it is a lie. I have nothing to fear.
I have years worth of evidence that show me that there is nothing to fear. And the presenting workshop at Center Centre with Mike Monteiro only helped to reinforce that.
When I asked Mike how to get better at presenting, he said it’s all about gathering evidence that I can do it. Hearing this again and again has helped me stay on the right track towards keeping my fears in check.
Practice, practice, practice
I’m lucky that I get to practice presenting and public speaking skills in a welcoming environment like Center Centre. I’m surrounded by teammates and facilitators who help me improve.
There’s no judgment here, just support.
Since starting school at Center Centre, I have gone from someone who used to dread presenting and leading meetings to someone who presents and leads meetings without batting an eye.
Every event, meeting or party I go to, every presentation I do — they’re all accomplishments.
It’s the little wins that keep you moving forward.
It’s the times when you mess up and get up to try again that make the difference. You can’t move forward if you let one mishap ruin your willingness to try again.
So I keep presenting.
I keep practicing.
I keep taking little steps.
Curious about the presenting workshop?
My teammate Randal Flamm wrote a piece about the presenting workshop recently. You can learn more about the workshop by reading “Trying again. Staying upright while learning to present.”
