Shades of Green: The Stork vs. Sustainability
How eco-conscious parents struggle with “the talk”
My daughter has it on good authority that babies grow in bellies. But she also fully believes in storks. She has — on more than one occasion — asked me if she could have a baby sister… tomorrow (and, yes, she expects that baby girl to be delivered within 24 hours).
My husband and I have committed to being honest with her about tough questions like “where do babies come from?” But our daughter is three-and-a-half. No matter how we present the information, the details end up getting a little fuzzy.
We know vague discussions can’t last forever, but it’s a relief to not have to worry about “the talk” just yet. Let’s face it: Talking to your kids about sex is uncomfortable.
Let’s face it: Talking to your kids about sex is uncomfortable.
Take it from Ed Begley, Jr., who attempts to have “the talk” with his adult children in the Center’s new PSA. It gets more than a little awkward, especially since his methods — listing elaborate ways to studiously avoid sexual encounters all together — are a bit misguided, to say the least.
Despite his less-than-ideal tactics, Ed’s message is important. He’s trying to connect the birds and the bees to, well, the birds and the bees.
What do I mean? Well, each day we add 227,000 people to the planet. And every day dozens of wildlife species go extinct. The United Nations predicts that human population will surpass 11 billion by the end of the century. As the world’s population grows, so do demands for water, land, trees and fossil fuels — all of which come at a steep price for already endangered plants and animals. Our children also inherit the climate crisis that we’ve created, a crisis that’s compounded by America’s supersized consumption habits.
Our children inherit the climate crisis that we’ve created.
While it’s probably a few years off still, I’m already planning to make that connection for my daughter, too, by making darn sure population growth and our effect on the planet is a part of “the talk.”
Because as critical as it is to our future and the future of wildlife, human population growth and its effect on the environment isn’t something you’ll find in any sex-ed class. In fact, many kids aren’t even being given science-based information about sex; some aren’t getting sex-ed at all. That’s a big problem. Especially since nearly half of all pregnancies the United States are unplanned.
Our increasingly crowded planet and how our family’s choices affect it isn’t something I can just ignore until my daughter is ready to talk about it. Because she’s not the only one asking for a sibling. Almost as soon as my daughter was born, we started getting asked when the next was coming. My husband and I heard it from our families, fellow parents and even random strangers in line at the grocery store.
Many kids aren’t even being given science-based information about sex; some aren’t getting sex-ed at all.
When Frances was still a baby the answer came easily: Not any time soon, if ever. I was still healing, and we weren’t even sleeping through the night (much less getting the bed to ourselves). But the question is getting harder to answer now. I always wanted to have a big family. And the American dream of a house with a white picket fence, two to three kids and a dog is so appealing. But it’s more than that. I adore my sister, and I know my daughter would benefit from the forever friendship of a sibling.
Right now my husband and I are having frank conversations about whether we’re ready for another. We may ultimately decide that one is enough, and I’ve already adjusted the image of my perfect family down to a more sustainable size. We’re still not sure what will work for our family, so in the meantime we’re making sure that we don’t get an accidental addition.
Thankfully that doesn’t mean we have to avoid sex. There are a number of safe and effective forms of contraception that can help us make sure we only add to the human population intentionally. And when we ultimately decide we’re done, we can pursue a more permanent solution.
But as with all environmental problems, this is a lot bigger than just our family. This series is about choices — every day choices we make and how we can take steps to treat our planet with more care and intention. The ability to choose when and if you have children as well as how many should be a universal right, but it’s more intensely under attack than it has been in decades. That’s why, in addition to our personal choices, my husband and I are also pushing for comprehensive sex education in schools and fighting to protect reproductive rights and healthcare for everyone. Because when the time comes for my daughter to learn about the birds and the bees, we want her to be able to make informed reproductive choices — for her sake and the planet.
Jessica Herrera is a media specialist for the Center for Biological Diversity.
