30 Days of Gratitude and the Results Were, Well… Underwhelming

As a person that doesn’t actively take to Facebook much, I made it a point to post on Facebook that I was going to do 30 days of gratitude. I did this to keep myself accountable for posting about this experience in a timely manner. Here I am, 6 days after my self-imposed deadline, writing about my experience that was, well… underwhelming.

Please note what I mean by underwhelming. It’s the kind of underwhelm feeling you get with a good accountant; if you don’t notice them, they are doing a damn good job. That was how gratitude was for me. I didn’t notice this magical shift in my life. I didn’t buy a house or land a dream job, but I did have very few bad days. This is something that very easily goes unnoticed. Especially for me, when I am always looking for something bigger, better, and new.

I have always been prone to funks. I am my own worst critic, and it is no secret that I need to be easier on myself. I never quite new how to do that. How do I give myself a break? My critic pushes me to be better, yet is incredibly hard on me. Practicing gratitude made me realize there is balance. I never realized that I could be grateful to my critic for pushing me, while forgiving it for the negative judgements. I learned that these judgements give me an opportunity to practice forgiveness every day. That is a huge gift.

Forgiveness also came up for me when I realized that resentment is the antithesis of gratitude. If someone has done me wrong, I have a hard time being grateful for the things they did right. It reminded me of a profound moment I had in the forgiveness of my father. Forgiveness isn’t for him, it’s for me. My resentment was hurting both of us, mainly me. Forgive and be grateful, it is much better for everyone, especially you.

So what did I learn from my 30 days of gratitude?

1. Gratitude is a habit just like anything else. It’s fun to start and began feeling like a chore until I remembered why I was doing it. I wanted to have more good in my life. So I continue to do it because it is now maintenance for my new life with less funks.
2. Gratitude is really difficult, if not impossible when feeling resentful. If I am having a hard time feeling grateful toward someone, I immediately work on forgiveness because I know it isn’t doing anyone any good.
3. My life is marginally better. By marginally, I mean I might be underplaying the importance of having no bad days.
4. I think I finally realized how to “Give myself a break”
5. I had a few magical moments with people in my life that I shared my gratitude with. They were truly special. I want more of that in my life.
6. I have a whole new respect for doing something new for a period of time. I want to do more!

Conclusion: I need to practice more gratitude so that next time I have a major breakthrough, I don’t find it underwhelming.

I am grateful for my good days and the people I get to spend them with.