1 Myth and 5 Lessons That Will Revolutionize Leadership

By: Lisa Cron, Bestselling Author, TEDx speaker, teacher, and story coach

Let’s start with the myth. Many of you aren’t going to like it: The best leaders are driven by logic versus emotion. Sorry, but no. Good leaders aren’t “logic-driven” because none of us are. Our brains are hardwired to be driven by emotion and story, and that’s what’s picking and choosing the data you pay attention to.

Our fear of emotion keeps us trapped in that myth — a fear that’s heightened by societal norms, which often differ by gender. For many men, it’s fear of emotion. For many women and other marginalized genders, it’s fear of what the patriarchy will do to you if you express emotion.

This myth is a big one to grasp. I often find that people go through phases of denial when confronted with this information before accepting it. I challenge you to come to this event, learn more, and see how logic breaks when you examine it closely.

If you’re ready to reject the myth… you’re ready to hear these 5 powerful leadership lessons.

1. If you want to unlock “aha”moments in others, you need to hone in on your story.

Even though we are wired to respond to story, we don’t come out of the womb knowing how to tell a captivating one. Good leaders invest in learning how to tell stories.

It all circles back to what the great Southern writer Flannery O’Connor once quipped: “Most people know what a story is, until they sit down to write one.”

We come off the assembly line wired for story, which means two things. First, we think in narrative. Our subjective story, created by our past experience, becomes the decoder ring we use to make sense of everything that happens in the present. Second, we are wired to instantly recognize and respond to story. I mean, back when you were three, no one had to teach you what to look for in order to get sucked into a story. It’s biological. But creating a story that will rivet others? That is a learned skill.

2. Everything we’ve been taught about story is wrong.

What pulls us into a story is not what we think it is. It’s not “beautiful writing” that pulls us in. Nor is a story about what happens on the surface — the plot, the external “drama.” A story is about what happens beneath the surface, in the mind of the protagonist, as she struggles to figure out what to do. The story isn’t about an external change; the story is about an internal change.

Good stories all have an unavoidable external problem that forces the protagonist to change internally in order to solve it. This is true whether you are writing a novel, a marketing email, or trying to convince your dad to get the COVID-19 vaccine. The most riveting part of the message is that inner struggle, not the bombs bursting in air.

3. You need to make friends with empathy and its more terrifying cousin: vulnerability

Stepping out of our mindset, and into the mindset of someone else NOT to figure out what they’re doing, but to figure out why. And not a logistical, generic why, as in: “Jane works hard because she needs the money,” but the much more potent belief system why, as in: “if you don’t have money, you’re a failure, and since the world is a level playing field, if you fail it’s your own damn fault, so you better work ‘round the clock.”

The key ingredient for creating a story that will change someone’s mind is something that the world seems to be in short supply of at the moment: Empathy. And what makes it even more challenging, is that in order to then create a story that will resonate, we have to willingly step into a realm that can feel terrifying: Vulnerability.

4. Perfection is unlikable

Why do we feel so much more comfortable deferring to facts? Because facts feel safe, because if you use one, and it turns out to be wrong, it’s not your fault. It’s the fact’s fault. But to create a story — especially if it’s about you — can make you feel vulnerable.

But here’s the secret: It’s only when we’re vulnerable that people feel they can trust us. That’s what likability is. Perfection is quite unlikeable — because it makes us feel bad about ourselves. To be likeable is to be relatable, and the only way to be relatable is to be vulnerable. And yep, that takes courage.

5. You can’t fly if you refuse to leave the cage

The myth that emotions are less valuable than logic is a cage. It’s a cage that often keeps women, people of color, and LGBTQIA folks from realizing their potential. We’re gaslighted into believing that hard science favors logic and data, but the hard science, neurologists, psychiatrists, and evolutionary scientists all agree that emotion and stories are the true source of power when it comes to persuasion and leadership.

Until you leave the patriarchy’s cage, you’ll never know what it feels like to fly.

Not convinced yet? Come to our free workshop on June 3 and I’ll tell you more about what the world’s greatest writers, evolutionary scientists, and neuroscientists can teach us about real leadership.