The women who inspire me and why
Challenging Challenges’ interview with Melilizwe Gqobo.
Challenging Challenges: Meli, we’d love to hear a little more about your female inspiration and how this had an impact on your life. On the podcast, which is coming out soon, you talked about how you were raised by two women, your mom and your aunt, how did this have an impact on your life?
Meli: My mother and late aunt have always been community leaders. In each and every township that we lived in, they made it their mission to be involved in developing those communities to be better placed to live in, not only for us but the for the community at large. This had a two-tiered impact on me. The first being, being able to have empathy for others. Our home had an open-door policy — literally. My mother and aunt would welcome anybody and everybody from the community who had a problem, and they would try to help or at least point them in the direction where they could be supported. Anything from domestic problems to community-related problems. The second being, ‘always be an active citizen in your community’. My mother and aunt would hold community meetings in public spaces and even in our house. They would discuss societal, political and economic development matters in our presence, and this is where I picked up my desire to create and develop social enterprises.
What did you notice a change in you by being surrounded by women?
Being surrounded by such empowered women made me want to understand women. However, I still do not understand women till this day, and will probably never do, as much as I do not understand men — and I am okay with that. In recent years, I have learned that what my mother and aunt tried to instil in me as a man is (i) never carry myself as more powerful than any woman and (ii) never lay a hand on a woman.
Who are the women you look up and why?
- Ntombekaya Gqobo (my mother) she taught me so much about resilience & persistence.
- Tandiswa Stokwe (my aunt) she taught me so much about laughing through hard times and how to read people.
- Miriam Makeba (singer, songwriter and political activist) I learned about her through her music and admire her grace and strength.
- Mamphela Ramphele (political leader) I learned a lot about her love for her partner (Steve Biko) and how important it is to support your partner, even if they risk the chances of you being alive.
- Afeni Shakur (political leader) I learned about how she would reprimand her kids by reading books on black leaders and the history that was not taught at school. She’s also the mother of one of the most impactful people to live — Amaru ‘Tupac’ Shakur.
- Madam C.J. Walker (entrepreneur & philanthropist) she was the first black female millionaire, during the slave era in the U.S, need I say more!
- Oprah Winfrey (public figure & media mogul) I think she makes smart moves and has triumphed so many personal adversities. And she is the polar of Santa Claus — hahaha, see what I did there ;-).
- Lady Diana (Princess of Wales, activist & philanthropist) a true definition of not forgetting who you are and where you come from and not allowing status to clout your purpose.
And so so so many more …
Why do you think it’s important for men to have women as inspirational people to look up to?
Why not? And if you have a counter-argument to the question, go and find a planet to colonize where there are no women. For anyone to be in balance, they must acknowledge and embrace both their feminine and masculine energy. That’s just my belief.
What have you learnt from the women you look up to, and who surround you that you want to hand down to your daughter?
Everything and so much more. Stand in your power, you are so beautiful, you add value in every situation, you are more than just a mixed-race woman, you are everything your heart desires and more and more and more times that by infinity.
