5 Lessons From a Recovering ‘Nice Guy’: How to Stop Sacrificing Yourself and Start Living Authentically
“Nice guys” use adaptive strategies, like compromising and being accommodating, to minimize the potential to be rejected, not liked, or not loved.
By Soma Miller
Being a “nice guy” is often viewed as a positive trait, but in reality, it can be detrimental to our relationships and our own well-being. It involves putting others’ needs before our own, neglecting our own boundaries, and engaging in covert manipulative behavior.
“Nice Guys” have inherited the false belief they are somehow fundamentally flawed. That they are not enough as they are. “Nice guys” use adaptive strategies, like compromising and being accommodating, to minimize the potential to be rejected, not liked, or not loved.
They will lie or tell half-truths (while convincing themselves they are being honest), people-please, avoid conflict, and generally play safe and small, shying away from any risk that would tarnish what they believe is their stainless reputation.
As a recovering “nice guy” myself I struggled a lot in relationships because I was afraid of abandonment. I hid my true feelings and pretended like…
