5 Steps to Reinvent Yourself
When you look into the mirror, what do you see? Is this really the person you want to be?
Have you ever wondered how you became the person you are? Was it through a set of carefully curated steps and conscious actions, or were you the one that went with the flow? Or were you modelled to look, act, behave in a certain way — the perfect child, the perfect husband, and so on? Regardless of the what makes you the person you are now, there come points in every life when you’re forced to ask — is this really who I want to be? Maybe, just maybe, it’s time for reinvention!
So here below is a brief description of what reinvention means, some powerful examples and five steps to help you reinvent yourself.
What Does Reinventing Yourself Mean?
To invent is to create something that never existed before. For example, Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone. Inventions perform a certain function. Telephones originally transmitted human voice over wires. Over time though, we’ve reinvented telephones such that not only are they wireless, they also acts as personal computers, cameras, payment devices and more. Reinvention, therefore, involves large scale transformation and sometimes, takes an item beyond recognition. As another example, digital currencies have reinvented the concept of money.
‘Reinvention involves large scale transformation and sometimes, it takes us beyond recognition.’ — Vinita Ramtri
This also applies to our personalities.
The original invention is who you are today. Even if you haven’t made deliberate effort to articulate who you are, your reputation is your brand. For example, do people know you as someone they trust or someone who’s intellectually gifted yet lacking in courage? In this case, reinventing means transforming your future reputation. Not small amends at the fringes, but a metamorphosis.
Some celebrities who’ve reinvented themselves include Angelina Jolie, who went from being a controversial figure to a human rights activist. And then there’s Jennifer Lopez, who went from being a backup dancer to the actress and mega brand that she is today. Speaking of recognition, here’s a famous image where she appeared in Janet Jackson’s 1993 video ‘That’s the Way Love Goes.’
‘Even if you’ve never made deliberate effort to articulate who you are, your reputation is your brand.’ — Vinita Ramtri
Why Reinvent Yourself?
Considering the only constant is change, there come points in life when we wonder if we need to change too. There are many factors, both internal and external, that trigger this thought.
As an example of external triggers, changes such as a change in career or relationship status, may trigger such need. With regards to internal triggers, this may be you feeling that something isn’t quite right and that in order to change what’s happening, you need to change who you are. Maybe you’ve come across some disturbing feedback, or perhaps you’ve evolved such that you no longer relate to your current persona.
So here below are five steps to get started.
Step 1: Visualize the Goal
The first step is visualize the goal.
Take time to understand what, and more importantly, why. You might like to begin with a vision board that paints this person living, breathing, behaving as you’d like to be. Visualize what they wear, how they talk, who they meet, even who they don’t meet.
As you do so, also write down who you don’t want to be — that person who always says yes, or the one who always gets overlooked for the promotion. I say this because while it’s important to keep your eyes on the goal, you must always remember why you started.
Drive around if you like. Visit websites, images, stories or people who’ve been in similar situations, and rocked this.
‘While it’s important to keep your eyes on the goal, you must always remember why you started.’ — Vinita Ramtri
Step 2: Feel the Fear
Then comes the hardest bit — facing your fears.
Unless all you’re doing is putting lipstick on a pig, this is going to be scary.
In fact, the loftier the transformation, the more scary this will be — and thoughts such as these will consume you.
‘What’s everyone going to say?’
‘What if my new persona rejects me?’
‘What if I fail?’
In the above example about Jennifer Lopez featuring in Janet Jackson’s video, she also declined to go on tour with Janet Jackson because, ‘she wanted to do her own thing.’ Do take a moment to reflet what that might have meant for an artist back then.
It’s one thing to be unhappy where you are, but it takes a whole new level of resolve to walk away from something that isn’t for you, without being able touch what is. Reinvention is a journey of self discovery — and you have to feel the fear. Feed off it, if you must.
Step 3: Have a Plan
Most people I know stop at step 2 — the fear is just that huge and to many, the risk simply isn’t one they want to take.
But if you’ve made it past that point, you’ll need a plan. Hope is not a strategy, and playing it by ear, isn’t a plan.
A plan is something that tells you exactly what needs to happen for you to be able to bring to life that vision. This includes everything from who you need to meet, what you need to read, where you need to be, where you don’t need to be, who can have access to your time, and who can’t.
You get the idea. A detailed plan that shows you not just the outcomes you need to achieve but also the steps you need to take in order to achieve those outcomes.
Remember this. The person you are is going to have to be left behind. So for you to become that new person, you need to step into a bigger scope of learning, believing and being.
Step 4: Stop Saying No to Yourself
‘I’m not a morning person.’
‘I’m too old to be starting a business?’
‘They’ll laugh at me.’
Stop right there.
Regardless of how old you are, if there’s any chance that you’ll be alive to see another day, you want it to be a day spent working in the direction of your dreams. In fact, the longer you’ve lived, the more you should appreciate that ticking boxes simply isn’t worth it.
While I use age as an example, there are many more ways we put ourselves down. Our looks, confidence, upbringing, education — all become reasons not to.
Trust me on this. If you’re going to make any impact on this world, there’ll be enough criticism from the outer world. Leave that job for the external world. Your job is to focus on yourself.
Step 4: Be Ready to Leave Friends
Change is uncomfortable — not just for you but also for those around you. You need to accept that as you change, some people will have to be left behind. You have to become okay with that, at least for a short time.
There’ll be people who’ll tell you that you’re a fool for doing what you’re doing. There’ll be others telling you that you’ve changed, and almost expect an apology. There’s no need to apologize for reinventing yourself.
Remember your why. Assuming you’re ready and committed to your future self, be ready to say your goodbyes — it’s a perfectly okay thing to say.
Step 5: Have Trusted Advisors
Finally, as you close some doors, you’ll be blessed with new doors opening to you. The help will come in many shapes and forms — mentors, coaches, role models, experts, and even old friend who’ll embrace the new you. Don’t be an arrogant person and take all the help you get.
And if you’re lucky, and persistent enough, some of these people will go on to become trusted advisors. People who’ll tell you when you make a mistake, lift you when you falter and be there for you through the journey, or at least parts of. Any when you walk that ramp in your new and improved version, they’ll be the ones ensuring a full house as they cheer upon you from the front seat!!
Conclusion
Reinventing yourself is not easy. There I said it.
It’s a painful process that takes significant reflection, deliberation and intent. After all, besides saying goodbye to old habits, you’ll also be saying goodbye to the old you.
But as you embark upon this journey, do remember to be patient and above all, only do it if it feels right to you. If it does, you’ll be unstoppable.
Good Luck!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Vinita is passionate about personal growth. She’s a versatile and impactful financial services leader and also EMCC accredited coach. With 25 years of corporate experience, she’s held substantial leadership roles in large organizations. Some of her past roles include Head of Conduct at Barclays Wealth, Head of Risk at HSBC Commercial Bank. She’s authored three books and manages a biweekly newsletter on LinkedIn, titled ‘Let Success Make the Noise.’ To discuss coaching with Vinita, please write to her on vr@vinitaramtri.com. Finally, if you enjoyed this piece, please remember to like and share.
