5 Tips For Xmas Emotional Survival
Christmas is a time of year when all is merry and bright, apparently…
I don’t know about you but I find that enforced fun can be a little jarring at times, to say the least. It can be a time of feeling like a cracker waiting to be pulled or, better put, cracked! Yes, Xmas can have wonderful moments but let’s be honest — it also brings together a lot of opinions, emotions and feelings that can be a lot to take. Add in a smidge (read copious amounts) of alcohol and it’s a recipe for frustratingly fuelled festive family fractards.
So, how does one keep cool when your <insert relative> “accidentally” says that thing that’s been avoided since last Christmas? Here are a few tips to survive the festivities…
- Breathe (through your nose) and stretch. If you can feel emotion rising you’ve been triggered. If that happens, you’re animal is readying to pounce. Job one is to breathe through your nose as this activates your relaxing nervous system and take a stretch because this makes more space in your body to hold the energy of emotions and also forces a pause. Breathing through your mouth only pokes the bear. If the bears do come out think of their paws — a way of mind-mapping to remember to pause and give each other space.
- Remember your “Structure Of Interpretation”. How we interpret things is HUGELY affected by not enough sleep, hunger (or overeating), alcohol, lack of exercise and a lot of those are on the menu at Xmas. If you feel you’re getting upset, run through that checklist and see if you’re depleted in any of those areas because it’ll have a huge effect on your mood.
- “If it’s not controlled inside, it’s controlled outside”. If a person gets triggered by something externally, remember it is a possible indication that there’s something inside them they aren’t at peace with (yet) and in turn are projecting. This applies to you and them. So, as hard as it might be, hold any reactions with compassion — see tips 1 and 2 for coping with the emotional rush.
- Try not to point the finger when saying how you feel. Start sentences with “I feel…” or “I hear you. I’ve noticed something has come up for me with regards to that…” a very useful sentence but a difficult one to enact especially after the seventh sherry. See tips 1 and 2 for coping with the emotional rush. Also remember, if you’re pointing a finger you’ve got 3 fingers pointing back at you.
- See emotions as “energy-in-motion” and any reaction is a sign of previously trapped energy bursting through (anxiety is a sign it’s stuck). Two tools for immediate relief, in a constructive way, are shouting into a pillow (try 4 times in a row without a break) and/or shaking your body for a few minutes and see what happens.
It’s said that Xmas is meant to be fun. Which, let’s be real, sometimes it is and sometimes it’s not. Hopefully the tips above aid you in having as merry a Christmas as possible. As the kid in Home Alone says, “Merry Xmas you filthy animal.”
As always thanks for reading…
With love,
Adam x
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Adam Slawson is a Transformational Coach, CEO, Author, Facilitator and Speaker. He: has guided Lululemon’s team in Transformational Inner Leadership, hosts the “Vulnerability In The City” radio show, facilitates workshops at multiple festivals inc. Boomtown and is regularly published in “Change Becomes You” writing about dating, relationships and emotional well-being. He believes “Our vulnerability is the catalyst to our freedom” and founded Plight Club clothing (www.plightclub.co.uk) to encourage this conversation. With over 22 years of experience, he coaches those who’d like to master their vulnerability to overcome anxiety, transform their relationships and gain magnetic confidence to attract the life that was meant for them instead of accepting the one they’ve been given.
His mission is to redefine vulnerability till it’s seen as the courageous act it is. His talks and offerings help people learn the language of emotions.
For more tools on tips to become better at expressing your emotions download his free e-guide here and/or visit his website here.
