Five Toxic Beliefs Ruining Your Sleep and How to Break Them for Good
Your sleep deprived brain is like a rebellious teen. To win, play the opposite game.
“This is it. This is how I will die- of sleep deprivation of all causes!”
You are not alone if you have thoughts like this as you lay awake in bed, struggling to catch a few winks. It is normal to feel frustrated and let down when you cannot do the one thing that comes effortlessly and naturally to even bugs and beasts.
But unhelpful thoughts like these and maladaptive behaviours that follow those thoughts are exactly what is keeping you up at night, clutching at straws.
Psychologists believe that our thoughts and beliefs about sleep and the behaviors driven by them can make all the difference between a good night’s rest and a lousy one.
And by challenging harmful thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors and learning helpful ones, you can reset your sleep patterns and sleep like a baby.
Here are some common thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that might be harming your ability to sleep well and what you can do to address them.
- “I need 8 hours of sleep, or I am a wreck.”
Most of us believe we know what a “normal sleep pattern” should be and constantly compare ourselves against it.
A common one is the 8-hour rule. While most people need between 7–9 hours of sleep every day, there are significant individual differences, and the number is not set in stone. Also, the amount of sleep a normal person gets varies on a night-to-night basis.
Having rigid ideas about how many hours of sleep you are getting and worrying about the deficit can result in sleep anxiety and worsen insomnia.
The same goes for how long it takes for you to fall asleep. Some people drop dead the moment they hit the sheets, while others can take a good 30 minutes to fall asleep. Fixating on the numbers is not helpful at all.
So, the next time it seems like it takes forever to sleep, don’t panic. Also, don’t clock watch all night and resist the urge to calculate the hours of sleep you will manage to get.
2. “Tomorrow is going to be a lousy day! In fact, my entire week is ruined.”
Sleep deprivation can make you feel cranky, less focused, and tired. But focusing on your mood changes, mistakes you make during the day, and the tiredness and blaming it on lack of sleep isn’t doing you any good.
When you strongly believe your performance and mood depend on how much you have rested, you tend to pay much more attention to your bad mood, the mistakes you make, and your tiredness.
And when you put it all down to poor sleep, it puts a lot more pressure on yourself to sleep better. It sets off a vicious cycle where stress and anxiety lead to prolonged insomnia and vice versa.
- Instead, tell yourself that you can still function reasonably well, even after a poor night’s sleep.
- Think of a time when you could still get things done though you were sleep deprived.
- There might be other reasons why you are irritable and unable to concentrate.
- Divert your attention to other factors that might be contributing and address them.
3. “If I tried a little harder, chances are I would doze off.”
Persistence and not quitting until you achieve your goal works in other spheres of life, but not when it comes to sleep.
If you are still tossing and turning in bed (after a reasonable amount of time), give up and get out. Leave your bed and move to a different area of the house, pick up a book, fold your laundry or do anything but try to sleep.
Forcing your brain to sleep is like asking a rebellious teen to do their homework. The harder you try, the less successful you will be. If you simply let them be, chances are, they will do it themselves.
Or you could play the opposite game. The famous psychologist and author of “Man’s search for meaning,” Dr. Viktor Frankl, recommends this technique called paradoxical intention.
Instead of forcing yourself to sleep, stay awake for as long as possible. You don’t have to do anything specifically to keep awake. It would be counterproductive.
As you lie in bed, tell yourself that you will stay awake for as long as possible and keep repeating it. Sooner or later, you will doze off. Trust me, it works.
4. “I need to catch up on the sleep I lost last night. So, let me take a nap.”
Some of us feel so strongly about missing out on sleep that we try to make up for lost hours by sneaking in a nap or two in the day.
You might feel refreshed after a nap, but it ruins your body’s inner clock and worsens sleep problems.
Our body clock responds to environmental cues like external light and internal signals to regulate the sleep-wake cycle. Irregular sleep patterns, including waking up and going to bed at random times and daytime naps, mess with the clock and worsen insomnia.
It is important to stick to a sleep/ wake schedule and avoid daytime naps to reset the clock.
5. “I am doomed to live with insomnia, and I will never be able to sleep well again.”
Frustration, depression, and anxiety are all potential consequences of long-term sleep deprivation. You are bound to feel defeated when you have tried things and failed.
This kind of “learned helplessness,” where you feel like there isn’t much you can do about a problem, can keep you from sleeping well.
If you have tried everything and still can’t sleep, you must address harmful and untruthful beliefs about sleep and its consequences. If everything else fails, consider getting professional help.
Truth is it is totally possible to reset your sleep and return to normalcy.
To sum up:
1. There is no gold standard for sleep- everybody’s sleep requirements and patterns are different and unique.
2. Set realistic expectations initially.
3. The effects of Sleep deprivation are often not that bad. Maintain an attitude of making the most of your day, and consider what else might contribute to your mood changes and physical problems. Accept the inconveniences, as that will improve your sleep tremendously.
4. It is not the end of the world if you have a few bad sleep days. Try not to focus on the negatives of sleep deprivation.
5. Trying to catch a few winks is like catching a butterfly. If you chase it, it will try to get away. But it will come closer to your grasp when you stop and simply let it be.
