Member-only story
How Men Talk Themselves Out of Having Sex
All the men I’ve talked to on Tinder who are not getting laid anytime soon give a similar story.
It’s always the same story.
Things are going well. The conversation is fun, flirtatious, and a mutual turn-on. We have discussed plans to hook up. Maybe I’m over at his house.
Then it happens.
His hand goes to my throat and stays there. I move it immediately, but for me, there goes the mood. He’s just revealed himself to be the kind of guy that tries to choke women without permission.
Or, he approaches my body and clearly eyes my rear end. We’ve discussed this. I repeat myself firmly: no. He looks disappointed. I feel like an object.
He moves my body around like a toy and seems to get off on the high of power rather than experiencing sex as a mutual act we do together. Or, he has unspoken but perfectly clear expectations of me that do not apply to him, expectations that he gets to orgasm and I should do everything possible to make it happen, or expectations of oral that are not returned.
Maybe things have not even progressed to that point.
The guys who insist on fantasizing about sex acts, out loud, that I have already said no to. Who…
