How to Navigate From Initial Attraction to the Touching Phase
Sexual attraction does not work like you think it does.
The person I have been most attracted to in my entire life goes by ‘they’ pronouns, has probably never been to a gym in their adult life, and I am bothered to this day that I don’t know what color their eyes are.
Don’t ask me to explain it. Attraction is complicated. Is it cuz they are Jewish, and I’m Jewish, and we met over Shabbat dinner? Is it cuz they had a partner at the time, so I felt safe from the requirements of real physical intimacy? Is it cuz they were just pushy enough so I couldn’t be confused about the fact that they wanted me, without pushing me into anything I didn’t want to do or wasn’t ready for?
What amount of attraction is healthy, and what amount is fueled by our childhood traumas, attachment disorders, relational issues?
The person I am second-most-attracted-to is the character of Maggie in ER, played by Jorja Fox. Part of me desperately wants a kind, rugged lady to defend me from sexism and witch-doctor me whole. Don’t you?
Don’t we all? We all do.
Attraction does not work like most men seem to think it does. I’ve never in my life made a decision about who to sleep with based on whether I thought…
