How to Stop Being a Doormat and Regain Your Self-Respect

How can you better give people a chance to understand your needs?

Photo credit: iStock

By Sharon Martin

Are you tired of feeling like a doormat? You know, like everyone’s walking all over you, taking what they need with little or no concern for what you need?

Perhaps you loan money that isn’t repaid. Or you hold off making your own plans because you’re waiting on someone else. You get stuck chairing another committee because you were afraid to say no. You drive out of your way to help out your sister, but she never offers to return the favor (and you never ask). These are all signs of what I call being a “human doormat”, pleasing others at your own expense, or being passive.

Signs You’re Being Too Passive:

• People take advantage of your kindness.
• You’re not appreciated.
• You feel burnt out on giving and not receiving.
• You don’t take care of yourself because you’re too busy taking care of everyone else.
• You say “yes” when you don’t want to.
• You apologize for things you didn’t do or didn’t cause.
• You feel guilty.
• You spend time with…