Man Vs Bear: A Low Bar

How have I been a source of fear and insecurity for women in my past?

The Good Men Project
Change Becomes You

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Photo credit: iStock

By Men Living and Todd Adams

It’s been a thought experiment for several weeks now: a TikTok question that asks, “Would you rather be stuck in a forest with a man or a bear?” With the majority of women answering, “bear.” When my wife told me about this, my immediate reaction was one of defensiveness and sharing my belief that most men are good and the question itself was completely ridiculous.

After having some time to consider, what do I mean when I say most men are good? I instantly compare my belief of men to the worst-case scenarios — a scary man hiding in the bushes, ready to assault or rape an unsuspecting woman. From this viewpoint, most men are deemed “good” merely by not engaging in reprehensible behavior. This realization highlights the surprisingly low bar I’ve set for evaluating men.

For me, it’s not the question itself, but rather the response that many women out there would prefer to choose a bear instead of a man. This presents an opportunity for me to become curious about their perspective and examine my own defensiveness regarding the question. I asked myself: How have I been a source of fear and insecurity for women in my past? How have I stood by as a bystander instead of stepping in to intervene

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The Good Men Project
Change Becomes You

We're having a conversation about the changing roles of men in the 21st century. Main site is https://goodmenproject.com Email us info@goodmenproject.com