Pecs or Personality: Rethinking What We Think Women Want

Guys…your personality will win the girl. Every time and without fail. It can’t be faked. It can’t be bought.

Umoja Artego
Change Becomes You
6 min readDec 13, 2023

--

At the risk of completely sounding foolish… eh, who am I kidding. I'm about to write my thoughts and life experiences about relationships and attraction to the opposite sex. Triggers will be pulled.

I do want to clarify that this is not a relationship advice piece and should by no means be used as such. It's more of an answer to a question that I get from the guys. I can't promise to do anything but give my honest opinion.

What I can assure you of-title of the article be damned-is that I in no way am attempting to speak for all men and I am ABSOLUTELY NOT speaking for one single woman.

Judge but judge honestly and accurately.

Now, to the topic at hand.

The amount of times that men have come up to me or sent me a DM inquiring about getting fit so that they can get the ladies…
It’s actually incredible. Even more impressive…these guys are 100% serious.

DO IT FOR YOU FIRST

There are times when an injury or illness occurs and a person changes their lives to better their health. They think of family and maybe their career and it's an awesome motivation. There's more to it.

When the source of motivation to do something for YOURSELF is coming from OUTSIDE OF YOU...red flags are already flying.

Enjoy the benefits of receiving accolades and attention for achieving goals or making positive changes in your life. It's inevitable! It's awesome!

It's also fleeting and relinquishes your power to outside influences. In short, when the outside influence fades, so does your motivation. It has to come from within!

WHAT WE THINK THE LADIES LIKE

Most of us grew up with some semblance of gender role example and ALL of us grew up with very specific messages being marketed to us about these gender roles.

That marketing includes the damsel in distress and the strong knight coming to the rescue. From women pretending to be too weak to open up the jelly jar to men assuming women have no place in physical sporting events.

The messages have been passed down, and it’s clear.

Men are to be strong in order to be desired.

In an amazing sense of innate humanity; this statement is a fact. I mean, I hope that we can have honest discord about this. I've personally had several conversations with women about their attraction to men and what moves them to be with men.

HONESTY METER TEST

When women are asked a question about their attraction to men, what is the #1 desired attribute?

Yep. A TALL MAN. A physical symbol of power and strength. An even more clear example is when men compensate for being “small” in stature with material objects that make them look or feel “big”. The big trucks. Flashy clothes We can go on about men and our comical egos, but that's not why we're here. Not entirely, at least.

IT'S ALL ABOUT PERSONALITY

We could wrap this up shortly by reminding the readers about the person(s) they've known and may have desired at some point.

Only to learn their personality and realize that all that glitters on a person does not always match their not so glowing personality.

SERIOUSLY FELLAS

My guys! Get fit, and get fit now. Do that for yourself. Do it for the guaranteed attention that you’ll get from the ladies.
I SAY AGAIN…you are guaranteed to get attention from women when you walk with a confident and strong physique.

IS THAT ALL YOU WANT, THOUGH? Attention? Of course not.

FORGET WHAT YOU THINK WOMEN WANT…HERE IS WHAT WORKS

Ok…the normal tools that feed into allurement and vanity are sure-fire ways to attract attention. Remember, we are hoping for more than just a look here or there. We are talking about “closing the deal” here.

There is a problem with emassing material tools to get attention from the ladies. There’s several actually.

For starters you're probably attracting people who see you as a meal ticket or a chump. Maybe you're the type that likes this level of abuse, I'd suggest not.

Then there's the important fact. You eventually have to get to know this person; and they you. And here's where the answer lies.

THE SOLUTION!

There's nothing that will get you ALL the women quicker than a PLEASING PERSONALITY.

Simple as that. Let’s make it clear with a checklist that you can use yourself. Please understand that this is not a very complicated or comprehensive list. It’s merely something to give you an idea about where you are and where you want to be.

THE YES LIST

Are you in your everyday life mostly…

  • a pleasure to be around
  • enthusiastic
  • encouraging
  • smiling
  • great sense of humor
  • charitable
  • confident when walking
  • confident when talking
  • complimentary to others
  • interested in others
  • selfless

THE NO LIST

Are you in your everyday life mostly…

  • gossiping about others
  • complaining
  • self-centered
  • bossy
  • easily irritated
  • intolerable
  • always finding problems
  • boring
  • condescending
  • arrogant

The lists above are priceless litmus tests to gauge your personality. So many men are alone and confused as they work their asses off in their career and in the gym only to be left alone and mentally broken. Oftentimes blaming society and women for their failures instead of poor personalities.

Guys…your personality will win the girl. Every time and without fail. It can't be faked. It can't be bought.

Do all the exercising you want. It's good for you. But if you think some nice biceps will land you the girl…sorry.

Get a woman to smile and see how far you get. Get her to think about more than just what's in your pants and watch how more interested in you she becomes.

Last time, guys. A PLEASING PERSONALITY wins every time.

You're welcome!

For more content from Umoja, including workout videos, find him on social media platforms at:

Instagram

Mo Movements Facebook Group

Linktree

--

--

Umoja Artego
Change Becomes You

🏋🏿‍♀️ Fitness Coach 👨 Men Motivator 👣 Father 📷 Creator 💪🏿Men's Fitness and Men's Mental Health