Remember: When Falling in Love, Prepare for Landing

The fall won’t last forever, but your relationship could.

Photo by Onur Senay on Unsplash

Some people love the rush of falling in love. They become addicted to the swirling chemistry of attraction, lust, and excitement of a new relationship. But falling doesn’t last long, and every new thing is bound to get old at some point. We have to remember when we’re falling in love that we also have to be prepared for landing.

When last I fell, I trusted the falling for the first time. I wasn’t wrapped up in anxiety about how or if it would end. I felt so safe at the outset that I would only allow for the thought of a soft landing in his arms. I could enjoy the glorious fall without constantly waiting and watching for a shoe to drop beside me.

Safe relationships should allow us to enjoy the fall without being wrapped up in anxiety the whole time. But what I didn’t know then was that I was falling alone. Love bombing looks a whole lot like love to the person being besieged by it. When the smoke finally cleared, I realized that I was the only one who had wholly risked my heart.

What I discovered is that some people really do love the fall, but they hate the landing. It’s not just the transition into a more settled relationship that bugs them. It’s the return of routine and taking off…