Stop Feeling Guilty for Wanting to be Treated with Respect
Never apologize for being you.
Respect isn’t handed out for free.
During my teenage and young adult years, I often felt unworthy of receiving the same level of respect and dignity as everyone else. Whether this was due to lots of bullying as a child, or issues with my parents is irrelevant. I eventually learned that how I carried myself had much more to do with how others treated me.
If you don’t feel like you are receiving the respect that you’re inherently worthy of as a human, it’s time to ask yourself a couple of sticky questions.
First, do you respect yourself?
You may be thinking “Uh, well yeah. Why would I not respect myself?”
The easiest answer is often to deflect and insist that you have self-respect. After all, why wouldn’t you? You’re supposed to be your own best friend!
What do your actions say about you though?
It’s time for some reflection:
- Do you take care of yourself (i.e. work out regularly, practice good hygiene, get good sleep, and not blow all your money on bullcrap)?
- Do you trust yourself?
- How do you talk to yourself/what kind of internal dialogue goes on in your head?
Typically, you can answer the second question posed based on how you answered the first question.
Respecting yourself comes down to practicing self-care, and self-care is all about taking the proper actions now to set yourself up for success in the future. If you neglect your responsibilities now, you’re hurting your future self and failing to show self-respect and value to yourself and others.
Just to be clear, engaging in cheap dopamine-releasing pleasures now isn’t a way of practicing self-care, it’s a way of engaging in instant gratification to numb and distract yourself from the angst you feel in this moment.
Someone who respects themselves does everything they can to set their future self up for success.
Second, what do you accept from others?
If you’re anything like me, then you don’t enjoy confrontation. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all get along and everybody treated the people they came across with courtesy and dignity? I wish this were the case, but some people can’t see beyond their own selfish desires.
So guess what, you need to be a little selfish my friend!
I know, when I first had this thought I recoiled a bit. I didn’t want to see myself as somebody who was brash, overbearing, and ruthlessly self-interested.
You don’t need to be all those things, however, you do need to be able to look after and advocate for yourself, because if you can’t, no one else will.
Do you allow rudeness from others? Do you allow yourself to be walked all over in your career by accepting less money than you’re worth? Do you have a significant other or “friends” who speaks to you in a belittling way?
One thing you must always remember is:
“People won’t treat you how you deserve, they’ll treat you how you train them to treat you”
If you allow disrespect, you will receive more of it. I know that standing up for oneself is often easier said than done, which is why your task needs to be practicing assertiveness and cultivating healthy and reasonable boundaries.
How to cultivate more respect
It’s important to treat yourself with respect and dignity before expecting it from others.
Develop self-respect by:
- Doing what you say you’re going to do
- Taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally
- Surrounding yourself with people who naturally lift you up
- Focusing on long-term goals and not just short-term pleasures
This has to be done in order for you to exude the demeanor that commands respect from others. Challenge yourself and do things that are hard. Gain the quiet confidence that nobody dares to test.
From there, it’s important for you to enforce your boundaries.
Stop allowing people to:
- Walk all over you
- Talk down to you
- Take what you do for granted
What you allow is what you’ll get, and if that means you need to cut certain people out of your life, so be it.
Above all else
You’re a human being walking this earth, and you have your own wants, needs, and desires like everybody else. You deserve to be treated with dignity and decency.
Never apologize for being you.
Never apologize for having needs.
Never apologize for being imperfect.
Never feel guilty for wanting to be treated well.
Treat yourself with care, and you’ll respect yourself. Treat others with the same level of dignity, and they’ll (usually) reciprocate.
Cultivate an environment of respect and good nature with yourself and those around you, and accept nothing less.
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