Stop Setting People Up To Let You Down
This is one of our most self-harming behaviors.
Putting others in a position to fail me has been one of my worst habits. One that I’ve challenged myself to unlearn. Because ultimately, in doing this, we break our own hearts and hurt our own feelings.
Creating upsetting situations isn’t likely a conscious decision. You wouldn’t intentionally help people make you feel neglected and alone. Yet, you probably do this more often than you realize.
Setting people up to let you down looks like:
Intentionally withholding pertinent information to see if the person will figure it out on their own.
For instance, not mentioning to the person you’re dating that your birthday is coming up in a few days. Perhaps you told them the date when you first met. So, you let them forget. Then you grow angry or take the mishap as a slight.
We want people that we care about to remember important details about us. It can demonstrate consideration. However, we all have other things going on in our lives and at any given moment could be so overwhelmed that essential information indeed slips our minds. Also, some people just have terrible memories. It’s not anything personal.
