Taking Relationships to the Next Level of Depth
Risks aren’t easy but they certainly pay off at times…
The catalyst was both my partner and I’s desire to individually grow by putting the effort into what it takes to be in a conscious relationship. A conscious is a relationship that’s created purposefully, decisively, and with intention. At points, they are not easy. They require staying in and open when you’re emotionally triggered and an ability to communicate the good, bad and ugly about how you’re feeling — putting yourself out there and trusting, in short. They can feel like riding a rollercoaster without being able to find your seat belt at times i.e. scary!
The depth of connection and love that’s generated through the container they create is exponentially worth it, though. It keeps getting safer, richer and more juicy. Practise makes progress and as you do the playing field to play on within the relationship feels bigger and bigger. Coupled with that is the feeling of more and more acceptance which brings a sense of peace and freedom to be yourself.
The “gamble”, actually no quotation marks because when you boil it down it was a gamble, was her going to a retreat that involved opening up our relationship. Essentially, like I had a few months ago, her having the freedom of being single with the security of a relationship behind her and my full support. We were nervous to take the step but it paid off.
While she was away, I genuinely felt what’s known as, compersion. As it got closer to her being back I started to really miss her (in a good way), then in the last twenty-four hours that turned into an aching in my body — I couldn’t wait to hear all and reconnect. Receiving that she was feeling the same was next-level lovely.
The rule we’ve agreed upon is that when the one who’s explored comes back we make dedicated time ASAP for them to share their journey, warts and all. There was still no jealousy, in fact, we had to pause a few times as we dined out on the eros that was created during the offloading. All the consequences of the adventure are still yet to come through, there’s what is termed an “Integration period” after any psychologically enhancing journey. We are still in that but, she’s grown as have I and because of what we’ve created through our ability to navigate our emotions, I’m confident that whatever comes up will only deepen things for us in time. The security in that is a virtuous circle. It’s also what brings the magic.
“He who dares, Rodders :)” (Watch Only Fools and Horses if you don’t get that reference)
As always, there’s a practice below to try out.
Thanks for reading,
Adam
PRACTICE: What’s the Story I’m Telling Myself?
WHY: We are not our thoughts and we can’t control them. Any more than a bird can control its tweet. Thoughts just appear. It’s the meaning we choose, yes, choose, to put to them that either sinks or allows us to swim.
HOW TO START: When you feel an emotional reaction ask, “What is the story I’m telling myself? Is, what’s happened 100% objectively true?”. There’s a VERY high chance it’s not.
For more tools on tips to become better at expressing your emotions download my free e-guide here
Living consciously and by choice instead of by habit is fantastic but it’s not easy. It takes practise. It’s called “doing the work” for a reason. If you’re ready to step out of the waiting room of life, I’ll save you a lot of time on your journey to freedom by supporting you through the insecurity of change. Book a free discovery call here
