The Benefits of Keeping Score in Life — A Practical Guide to a More Fulfilling and Peaceful Life
I used to get stuck in this loop: I would do something - Move on to the next thing, and start all over without ever keeping score of my wins.
Does that sound familiar? Well, that is because you are not alone.
Most of us live our lives, emotional paycheck to paycheck, forgetting to save a little every month, and above all, rally checking our balance
In a basketball game, keeping a score provides the players with the critical feedback they need to make the right adjustments to improve performance and do their best to win the game.
In the game of life, it gives me the much-needed feedback I need to make the right adjustments, so I don’t forget to count my wins.
It's so easy to get caught up in all the doing and all the having of life, always moving on to the next thing.
Rarely keep score with what I have accomplished so far.
Some people call it gratitude, I never liked that word very much- I prefer to use the word keep score because it makes me feel more responsible for my actions than the word gratitude.
The word you use doesn't matter, the effect it has on your life does.
In this article, I want to share with you how keeping a score of all the good in my life has made it possible to live a more fulfilling and peaceful life.
Finding My Style And Getting Started
When I first started practicing keeping score it felt awkward at first. It took some time to find my own style and a method that felt right, natural, and meaningful to me.
While there is no wrong way to keep score of your wins, here are some practical help to get started.
— Write down max five wins for which you feel grateful when you are first getting started.
— Don’t just do this in your head— The physical act of recording your gains creates momentum and new pathways in your brain.
— Keep it short and small in importance, don't wait until you had a raise or made one million dollars.
The goal of keeping a score of wins is to recall a valuable experience or meaningful interaction with a person in your life — then reap the benefits of the good emotions that come with it.
Why Keeping Score Works
Keeping score of our gains heals, there is no doubt about, it literally alters the human heart and molecular structure of the brain.
There is new evidence emerging every year and though it is nothing new, it is an interesting growing area of research that can now measure the effects of keeping score of our gains.
The shift in focus when I start keeping score of my wins creates a shift in my perception silencing the critical inner voice.
What I focus on expands and I find myself looking for wins every day, bouncing back from life's challenges much faster
Keeping a score of small wins changes the way I view myself, increasing my internal sense of being good enough and worthy of love and belonging from others.
It changes my emotional outlook and the level of importance I place on myself.
Keeping a score of my gains helps me challenge my negative beliefs.
It brings me so much gratitude in and of itself but has also has given me a better self-understanding, self-love, and self-acceptance and also humbled me.
How To Get Started
In a world where we see people's Instagram followings growing fast, where we hear about people leaving their day jobs and building a 10-figure business in only 5 months or my personal favorite:
‘Follow this strategy and you will…. you fill in the blank, starting small can feel like discouraging.
That is why I am obsessed with baby steps.
Starting small teaches me to manage my resources and builds a solid foundation for handling future growth
For the past 18 years, every lasting change that I’ve made has started with one small step.
This approach has helped me find my voice and style in everything I do, keeping overwhelming feelings out of my way.
Here are things I do that allows me to build a sustainable and strong foundational practice:
I Start small — I approach changes slowly and deliberately, instead of fast and furious.
I am specific — I write down specific gains and why they are gains
I focus on depth — I focus on details about a particular win.
I am personal — I focus on specific wins liked to people over material wins.
I practice subtraction —I remind myself of what wins I wouldn't have without certain people or situations, instead of jotting down a list of bullet points of wins.
I reframe good things like “wins” — Reframing wins as gifts is one of the biggest guardians I have in my life against taking them for granted.
I set reminders to help me write regularly — I commit to a regular time to journal, then honor that commitment even if it is for 20 seconds.
When I first started keeping scores of my gains I reminded myself that the best way to get more comfortable with keeping scores is to start.
Summary
Keeping the score of my wins is not the same as riding a bike. Once I learned to bicycle, I can keep it in the garage, rarely use it, but can still remember how to ride it every time I take it out for a spin.
This is not the case with keeping the score of my wins.
It is a daily practice
I remind myself that my brain is NOT looking out for my best interest.
I hear voices in my head that are not mine every day saying:
— “This will take too long”
— “It's not going to work”
— “I will never be able to do that”
— “I don’t want to”
— “People will think I am crazy”
— “Someone else already wrote this article better than I can”
— “I’m not ready yet ”
Lastly and most importantly, I remind myself that life gives birth to new wins while I am busy keeping score of my losses.
This is a great reminder that life is happening in the present, regardless of circumstances.
It's my choice to focus on wins or losses.
I no longer wait for the wins to happen to me
— I create them!
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope this was helpful, and please share it with the world.
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