Trauma Survivors — Do You Actually Need It Softer?
One of the biggest blind spots for trauma survivors on their healing journey.
“I usually need it pretty deep,” I was telling my bodyworker, “It’s okay if it hurts.”
As he was feeling into my body, though, he said to me,
“Actually, your body needs it softer. It responds better to softness. The softer I go the more it opens.”
Tears started to well behind my eyes, but it wasn’t until after the session that I understood why.
Trauma survivors don’t know softness is even an option.
In order to survive, I’ve had to orient myself around toughening up. Pulling myself up by my bootstraps and figuring out a way to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
In my trauma, I learned there is nobody else I can truly rely on except myself. That it is dangerous to admit I need other people — much less admit I have any needs at all.
Us trauma survivors don’t know softness is even an option. We’ve had to take life hard, from the very beginning.
