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THE INTERNAL RESISTANCE FILES

We Need Better Origin Stories

Jane Elliott PhD
Change Becomes You
Published in
7 min readJan 9, 2023

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Most of us know a lot about how we got screwed up and almost nothing about how we became remarkable. It’s time to think about our stories in a new way.

A young African-American boy looking sad in a superhero cape.
Tetra Images, LLC / Alamy Stock Photo

Over the last two decades, I’ve coached and mentored countless very smart and talented people. Along the way, I’ve heard about books they’ve published, programs they’ve written, companies they’ve sold. They mention achievements so noteworthy I can’t get specific without a risk they could be identified.

All of which has given me a close-up view of a widespread issue: most of us are telling completely terrible stories about our lives.

Even when we talk about great things that we’ve done, we zero in on the near misses, the set backs, the crappy feelings. We’re so focused on why we’re miserable despite our triumphs that we barely notice how much we’ve triumphed despite the misery.

Don’t get me wrong — helping people use their talents without all that misery is my main purpose as a coach. And I know first-hand the transformative power of understanding exactly how you became your own worst enemy. Not to mention, truly awful things happen to people every single day, and talking about it can be crucial.

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Change Becomes You
Change Becomes You

Published in Change Becomes You

Life advice that will (actually) change your life. Curated stories from The Good Men Project.

Jane Elliott PhD
Jane Elliott PhD

Written by Jane Elliott PhD

Coach, Prof, Writer, Swear-er | I help high-achievers do the things that they just can't do.

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