When Life Feels Overwhelming
Embracing stress in the rollercoaster of life.
When we were kids, even the slightest trigger was stressful. Someone taking my toy away would make me lash out. Getting denied that second scoop of ice cream would make us feel hurt. When our world is small, these are big problems.
Then we go to high school and our problems get bigger. We now need to worry about grades and colleges. Failing a class feels like the end of the world. We wonder how adults have it all figured out.
But then we grow up. There are no more grades but what about taxes, buying a home, finding love, starting a family, phew! Wasn’t life supposed to get easier?
When I was in high school, my parents would often tell me what every Indian kid has heard growing up. This is the time to work hard! Get into a good college. And life will take care of itself. In college, they told me same thing but about getting a job. Once I got a job, it was now about getting a promotion.
Life never gets easier. We just get better at dealing with it. As we grow, so does the magnitude of our problems. And it may seem like we are always struggling, overwhelmed and barely getting by. Yet, only when we pause and look back, we realize how far we have come. “Was I really that stressed about my 7th grade Math final?” It seems so trivial compared to the stuff we are dealing with now.
Whatever your current problems are, you will feel the same way about them in a few years, or maybe even a few months. I promise. Your workout today is your warmup tomorrow.
So before you drown in anxiety, pause and imagine yourself a couple years into the future. Picture your future self looking back at your current self and wondering the same thing. “Was I really that stressed about this?”
When I am feeling overwhelmed or stressed, it is either because there is too much on my plate or there has been an unexpected life event. Here is how I deal with it.
- Jot Down Everything You Need To Get Done
There maybe a hundred things coming at you next week. House needs cleaning, project deadline coming up, kids’ nanny just cancelled, your dog has diarrhea, the list is never ending! Just worrying about it all is overwhelming.
Start with listing down everything you need to do. Trying to hold everything in your head itself is stressful! I cannot focus on any single task if I am worrying about everything else that needs attention. I like to use a whiteboard but a notebook works just as well. Getting it all down on paper allows you to clear your head.
2. Prioritize
You likely cannot get through everything on your list in one day. Humans aren’t nearly as good at multitasking as we like to think. You need to prioritize. Warren Buffet’s famous 5/25 rule says to focus on only the top 5 items and eliminate everything else!
I like to first go over my list and check off any low hanging fruits. Maybe you just need to send out an email or make an appointment. Done! It’s only been a few minutes and you have already crossed off a few items. Look at you!
Then focus on the 5 remaining items that you absolutely need to get done. The rest will have to wait. You just don’t have the mental capacity to think about a dozen problems at once. It is better to do a few things well than do a lot of things mediocrely (yes that’s a word). As you complete the top five, you can take on next. You may not get through all. Few other things might come up as you complete five. And that’s okay. You are making progress.
3. Let Go
The most stressful problems are the ones out of our control. Maybe you just got laid off or had your heart broken. You feel helpless. Give yourself time to grieve. But after that, let go. No point in crying over spilled milk. Focus on what’s in your control. According to Jeff Bezos, stress comes from not taking action. You can start brushing up your resume and reaching out to your network. Just taking that first step can dramatically reduce stress. But not doing anything and just worrying about it will only add to stress.
4. Prioritize Sleep
You know what’s worse than dealing with stress? Dealing with stress while you are sleep deprived. Your brain is already working on overdrive. Don’t make it worse by depriving it of rest. Sacrificing on sleep hurts more than it helps. Sure it might buy you an extra hour or two but it comes with a hit to productivity and quality of work. Find other ways to get that extra hour but don’t sacrifice on sleep.
5. Go Easy On Yourself
We are our worst critics. When you have a lot on your plate, it is only natural that you will drop the ball on some of your commitments. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Imagine if instead of you, it was your best friend who couldn’t get that assignment done on time. How would you react? Would you be hurling insults at them or try to be supportive and tell them to take it easy? Hopefully its the latter. Don’t you deserve that same treatment from yourself? Life is a marathon, not a race. You are allowed to slow down when you need to.
This is how I cope with stress. Stress does not come from hard work. One could be working really hard but having the time of their life. It comes from feeling out of control. When there’s too much thrown at you at once. Hope you find the above steps helpful. Everyone has their own way of dealing with stress. If you have other tips that help you, do share them in the comments!
