Change Becomes You
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Change Becomes You

When Someone Tries To Bury You — Remember That You Are A Seed

Foto:Carlos Vettorazzi

If I don't learn and change, I don't grow. If I don't grow, I am not alive. I am just tolerating my life.

If I want to Grow, I must divorce certainty and safety and enter the unknown.

It might mean giving up comfortable but limiting patterns, a safe but unfulfilling job, values I no longer believe in, or relationships that have outlived any meaning and fulfillment.

I must take a new step to signal to myself that I am entering something new; I must engage in what I fear most.

This is hard, but I know my genuine fear in life is going in the opposite direction.

Every day someone or something tries to bury me, I fall, and every day I get up.

Just like a seed cant grow without the resistance it gets from the wind and the rain, I cant cultivate resilience without the pushback I get from people and circumstances.

Foto av Shahin Kh från Pexels

I Don't mistake resilience with pushing myself

Resilience is not about going through easy things; resilience is working through the difficult things and coming out on the other side.

This is not always easy because the uncertainty of what is on the other side can be paralyzing.

Resilience is like a muscle, yet many factors can affect my ability to build it — and some of them are beyond my control.

The environment influences how and what I create for myself.

I have a stable job and a stable home. I am already way ahead on the resilience curve [compared to] someone who's struggling just to put food on the table.

I have been there, so I know how it feels to go from paycheck to paycheck, to get by for years, before my efforts pay off.

I will never forget that resilience is sometimes a privilege.

While being unprivileged sucks in more ways than I can count, accepting what I can control and what I can't control is an additional resilience tool in itself.

The same goes for remembering that while all the tips and skills in the world can be helpful, building resilience is a marathon, not a sprint.

I often won't see the effects of all my work immediately, and that's perfectly okay; I am a seed.

I focus on doing my best while I push through and grow.

Notice that I use "push through it" and not push myself.

I practice self-compassion because I know how I want to feel while learning.

I have bad days when I don't feel very strong or resilient and want to stay in bed and hide from the world.

Then I remind myself that I am a seed and will have many bad days before I grow. That's not just okay; it's necessary to be in it for the long haul.

When I give myself a little space to have a bad day, I'll do much better the next day.

On the other side of the spectrum, I will spend the rest of the week in survival mode if I push myself hard.

People trying to bury me always present an opportunity to build skills that supports my resilience. The last thing I want to do is put pressure on myself.

One essential part of being resilient is forgiving and allowing myself not always to be the most productive or the best in my field.

Foto av Anastasiya Lobanovskaya från Pexels

Self-Compassion + Gratitude Builds = Resilience

For me, self-compassion does not ignore when I am uninspired, sad, or exhausted.

Self-compassion listens to my body telling me to slow down instead of pushing through that message, and throwing resilience out the window.

At that very moment, when self-compassion kicks in — I take care of myself.

Another thing I do as a growing seed is to practice gratitude every day without missing one single day.

Why?

Because it keeps me feeling content and mentally healthy.

Over the years, I found ways to practice gratitude that I can stick to.

We all have our preferred way to highlight what we are grateful for, whether it's ending each day by writing a sentence in a gratitude journal or going through a list of three wins we are thankful for one minute each day.

The most important thing for me is to acknowledge the things I have and am grateful for every day — no exceptions, no matter where I am in the world.

Next time someone tries to bury you, remember that people and circumstances work for you and your dream for something better.

You are a beautiful seed.

This is the 12th article in a series of 28 questions I ask myself to live a sustainable life.

I will be publishing one article each week.

If you want to read stories like these and support me as a writer, consider signing up to become a Medium member. It’s $5 a month, giving you unlimited access to all stories on Medium.

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Life advice that will (actually) change your life. Curated stories from The Good Men Project.

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Carlos Vettorazzi

Carlos Vettorazzi

Life Coach And Writer In The Making, Empowering People With A Practical Transformational Guide To Living A More Peaceful and Fulfilling Life.

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