Why Are Men So Angry?
Despite how detrimental it is, anger is still our default emotion.
The comedian Kumail Nanjiani was on Ellen recently talking about the plot of his latest movie “Stuber.” In discussing the dynamic between the two main characters of the movie (who have opposing views of the value of anger) he said something which resonated.
The only emotion that men feel comfortable expressing, in general, is anger. We’ve been told that’s the only manly emotion there is. Sadness isn’t manly, fear isn’t considered manly, even joy can be turned into anger… And I felt for many many years I wasn’t in touch with those emotions. I only felt comfortable showing anger.
I don’t think he is alone in those sentiments.
Being a man generally means anger is never far out of reach. We keep it holstered on our belt, ready to reach for it at a moment’s notice. I don’t consider myself an angry person, but I do know how easy it can be to lose my cool, to default to anger.
I’ve started to wonder recently why that is. How did anger become our default method of emotional expression? How did it beat out disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, surprise and any number of others as our go-to?
