Why Are You Afraid to Ask for Help — you know you need it!
Life is chaotic, simple as that. No matter what time of the year it is, there is always something going on, and sure some days and weeks are more chaotic than others, but most of us could agree that whether we invite it into our lives or not, chaos ensues in some capacity. It may appear in the shape of work, family, friends, social engagements, or really for the most part, our own self doing, we create chaos for ourselves — taking on too much work, agreeing to things we shouldn’t, or procrastinating for way too long before we really have to get things done.
My kids head back to school this week and like most parents I know, there has been a sigh of relief, not because they don’t enjoy spending time with their children, but it is certainly en element of priority that goes onto one’s schedule and as a result, other areas get dropped down the list and as a result, chaos may ensue!
I see this same analogy when it comes to fitness, for a lot of individuals, as soon as something else in their life takes priority there begins a shift, their eating and working out, in fact anything to do with looking after oneself, gets dropped to the wayside and any progress is slowed or reversed.
If you are to ask those same individuals whether they need help and support to handle those things in their life, including their health and fitness, the typical response is “I got it” and off they shuttle to continue to juggle the chaos of their life, stay barely afloat, and never really make headway in the areas that they value the most.
One of the major reasons I have failed at times over the years to ask for help has been directly related to I guess pride or even trust so to speak. Not that I feel the people in my circle are untrustworthy, I have just been quick to dismiss of help and fall into the “I got it” mode as I feel I am smart enough, motivated enough, competent enough to take on any challenge or activity and can do so without any help. The problem with this though, is if you are trying to do this across multiple areas, all at once, at some point you are going to drown, or you are going to produce less than superior results to at least one or more of the tasks you are working on.
I know this from personal experience as a coach, but also as a person who juggles work, family and social obligations. I openly admit, I resisted help for many years, and still at times have moments where “I got it” still enters my head, until my better self takes lead and I once again invite what I need into my life to help me balance my chaos and go beyond just being afloat to gain traction toward those areas that I need the most.
I have been coached my entire life, from my dad in my early days of cricket and Australian football, through my junior sporting years, my time as a semi-pro football player, to now where I am part of a Nutrition coaching business where even our coaches get coached. Why? Because we know the importance of someone helping and supporting us through our own individual journey, no matter the moment in time of where we are at or the goals we are going after, and no matter our own level of competency.
Are we really better off by trying to do ALL things all by ourselves, or are there areas in our lives that we wish for help, that we need help with?
We are surrounded by situations in our lives where we need help. I have been associated with thousands of individuals over the years and all of them have shared the trials and tribulations of their lives and all have shared how they could have used help at some or many points of their lives, yet most and I do say the very most, fail to ask for it or welcome it when the opportunity rises.
Sound familiar? Have you found yourself in similar position?
What happens when someone close to you asks you for help — how often do you agree compared to saying no? Many of my clients share how they have a hard time saying no to others, but have a much harder time of asking for help themselves.
Why do you resist support so much? Is it pride, trust or possibly that you feel it’s a sign of weakness or potentially giving away some control?
What do you have to lose by asking for help?
Who do you ask for help if you need it?
Asking for help is one of the hardest decisions to make, especially when you may have certain standards in and around the task you are asking help for but it’s also why you openly define and communicate those standards. By doing so, you narrow the field on who may be the most appropriate choice. Without doing so you invite the risk of someone providing a less than standard result that you require. I have had clients tell me that it took them up over 2 years before they were ready to ask for help, at the same time disappointed they didn’t ask earlier.
Asking for help doesn’t have to be an all-encompassing event, and it can come in varying degrees of assistance, as little as advice and guidance to side-by-side coaching and attention, as is the involvement you partake in it, whether you allow control of the task to someone else, or you are invested in the process yourself. Whatever direction is taken, the outcome is that your life is provided a greater, more positive balance.
What do you need help with?
Are you ready to accept help?
What can you do now to ask for the help you need?
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Yes, be smart, be cautious, but be courageous, you won’t regret it.
Dr. Dan Dodd is an Exercise Science professional and Coach for BSL Nutrition. Dan is an avid writer on nutrition, exercise, metabolism and body composition. If you’d like to receive more stories, subscribe to get these stories and more.
