Why Studying in a New Language in Your Late 30s Is a Wise Decision
Having a family does not mean your life is over, it has only just begun.
I started a course in nursing when I was 36. I started working as a volunteer in Germany in order to learn the language well enough to sit in German anatomy class and take exams in it. I am not single. I have two kids and I started studying as a last resort to be financially independent.
My husband is an IT contractor in the USA and the pandemic threatened his project. I am a writer and an opera singer and no one was wanting any of these services two years ago when a pandemic struck. So, I was forced to take the harsh step to leave my two kids and move over to Germany to start a new quest for certainty and sufficiency in life.
A blessing in disguise
In Feb 2020, when I got here, I did not know a word of German. The people here talk in the dialect, which is even worse. I would stare dumbly as people gave me instructions at full speed because I did not understand. I would guess colleagues were irritated with me through the mention of my name and their expressions. Being subjected to being tagged reserved and dumb due to lack of language at the age of 36 was not acceptable to me.
I was otherwise a very vocal and social soul. I could not withdraw myself into a hole just because I could not frame sentences in a foreign language. So, I paid heed to the type of conversations that would surround me at work. I would scribble words they murmured under their breath about me to others as soon as I heard them. I would come back, use Google translate, and try to make head or tail of what they meant.
Many translated as is. Many did not, as they were part of the dialect. When I entered my voluntary worker service I was unlucky enough to meet extremely nasty colleagues. They would make sure that I had no place to sit the entire eight-hour shift. The toilet was located in the nurse’s room, where medicines were locked. I had no key and had to beg someone to open the door every time. They would not and would ask me to do two more tasks before I could use the bathroom.
I was forced to walk to a separate floor to complete my tasks and pass in secret. The whole time I would be standing in the cafeteria because we were not allowed to sit on the oldie chairs. For three months, I never had a break. I was supposed to be offered food as a volunteer worker, but the colleagues refused. There was never enough for me to eat but more than enough for them to illegally take home.
All these atrocities forced me to go to file a complaint with the volunteer work state office. The heads organized a meeting with the station head to resolve the issue. I was supposed to rest my case in front of higher officials who spoke only German. But how was I to understand? How was I to respond appropriately?
This opportunity forced me to mug up sentences pertaining to the issue. I didn’t have enough vocabulary to sit through a formal gathering ordered just for me, but I had to make this worthwhile for the busy people who had taken out time to discuss my case. The meeting went well. Thanks to this meeting three months down the line of my volunteer service, I was able to push myself to talk and respond in German.
Learning a new language at 36
That year sped by. I took a B2 language exam in German and applied for a seat in the nursing course. Hopefully, my language was enough to sit in German class in school. It was very difficult at first. Most of the terms were in Latin and I had not heard of them anyway. Luckily English uses many Latin words directly into science. German has a German term for everything and the Latin term had to be mugged up for scientific purposes.
Many times I knew the answers to many questions but did not know the English translation to the term referred to. And then, there were misunderstandings at work. I would falsely carry out an instruction I was told not to because I had misunderstood it. I would then sulk and apologize for my lack of misunderstanding, but the damage was done.
I learned the hard way how not to make mistakes, but while learning and understanding a new language, this was inevitable. No matter how hard I tried, I did make such mistakes and got used to positively accepting them. The positive part was I never made them again!
Two years hence, I am in my second year of nursing. I ace my written exams. The practicals are not that great due to the lack of understanding still. My efficiency at work has greatly improved with my mentors bragging about the change in me. The truth is, it did not come overnight. I did need to put in a lit of hours of understanding German outside my work hours. I was speaking, living, and breathing the language and translating everything anyone was saying to me in my head in English or Hindi.
It is only when you start thinking in a new language that you are near fluent. This ability comes when you naturally hear and respond to expressions. I watched movies in German without subtitles to better myself. I translated every word that was not clear to me and even spoke out whole sentences exactly, in order for Google translate to hear and translate them for me. This act helped me memories whole expressions in the correct accent. I made it a point to flaunt my newly learned expressions with a local. When I did this, the sentences stuck like glue in my head, never to be forgotten.
Don’t let society make your decisions for you
Language aside. The whole Career shift was new to me. People told me that going back to study even in your own language is tough after half of your life is over. With two kids 9 and 11, one may not think of starting a three-year degree. I did because I had no choice. I did not want us to be jobless because of the pandemic and I was sick and tired of moving around the world as part of my husband’s job.
The children suffered the most as they had to change schools and friends every two years. Countries were changed and so were the languages, cultures, expectations. Every land had its own standard of education and its own way of tackling kids. Every land had nosy people who were ever ready to pass judging comments like how I could leave my kids and selfishly chase my own goals. Others told me that my husband would have an affair behind my back. I swallowed these shallow people with a pinch of salt.
We could have avoided moving to a fourth country after the USA, India, and Canada, but anything was better than having the kids settle down in India in the long run. I felt it was easier for them to learn a new language than to have to deal with the polluted air, hectic lifestyle, and extreme pressure in school in the capital, New Delhi.
So I put myself through the pressure of going back to school when half of my life was over. Not only sitting and working as a nurse in a new language but conforming myself to a life I never had imagined. In India we had a servant for all types of work and here was I cleaning people and their waste — — a job considered menial and downtrodden in our society.
What made me stick to it? The people. The old people in our home were thankful for the help they received. They would bless me even with their dying breath. Plus, working as a nurse in corona times was a rewarding experience. I could see many of my artist friends become jobless in America and here was I, not only living a single life but learning a new language and building a career that would never become obsolete. This was priceless.
Living and settling down in a new country was a dream for me. I just did not imagine it would come true and that too this way. Instead of whining for the kids and time lost with them while I was accomplishing personal goals, I thanked my husband for taking care of my part of the job so that we could have a better future.
Why do I recommend a 360-degree shift in career in your late 30s
- As a mature adult, you know the value of time
As teenagers we are immature. We put off important tasks like learning and revising and waste our time doing things that would seem more important. At 36, I needed no one to tell me that video games were less important than studying. I knew the value of time and used every minute efficiently to better my language and nursing skills.
2. As a mature adult, you know your strengths and limitations
At 36, I did have just enough enthusiasm to carry on tasks associated with me. While other younger students bragged about lifting people alone, I knew the limitations of my body and back. I knew what I could do alone and what I needed help for and asked for it unhesitantly when I needed it. I saw many young nurses with broken backs and damaged knees because they did not have the courage to admit they were unable to do a task alone, and learned from their experience.
3. As a mature adult you are more likely to complete what you started
As a person in the late 30s, you are more likely to stick to a goal you set for yourself even if things go all wrong. You are more likely to complete the training you started even if halfway through you have no motivation and support. As adults, we seldom have the luxury to waste precious time. Time lost with the kids was precious and had I not stuck to studying now, the effort would go to waste. A mature adult, 99 percent of the time would complete a degree he started. It is either now or never.
4. You are role models to your kid and that is enough for you to face any adversity
As a parent and a woman in my late 30s, I had to set an example for the kids. I could not start something and come back crying like a baby. I had to teach them that crying does not help, life is not a bed of roses and the only way out is to face the music and not run away.
My kids are now with me after two years. They realize the sacrifices made by their mom and dad to give them a better future in a developed nation. They use our example to struggle in a fourth nation, a new school, and learn a new language. Parents have to be their children’s first role models.
5. If you are dependent on your spouse for a living, it is never too late for you to change this fact.
We all need to bless ourselves with a career that pays. We all need to experience the joy of earning our own money to maintain our self-worth and confidence. We all deserve the right to be secure and certain. When our degrees and careers become obsolete in a pandemic or in times of emergency, we need to change this irrespective of our age and situation.
We cannot predict when the world would come to an end. Even if it does, we cannot be sure it would consume us. The only thing we can be sure of is that we go on living through all atrocities. Our children have naturally been subjected to the survival of the fittest and we cannot change this norm. What we can change is, however, our situation.
I concentrated on learning a new skill when half my life was over in order to make the other half more rewarding. Your life is over only when you think it is. Death and shit are two things that come unproclaimed, be ready to face them always.
