Molly Barker, on the Future of Connection
Hi, I’m Molly, creator of: Girls on the Run. We help girls recognize and activate their limitless potential. We do that by integrating running with lessons that build resilience.
Home base: Right now, Marfa, Texas. I moved here a year ago from Charlotte, N.C., where I had lived my whole life. Why Marfa? In 2010, I met someone randomly on an airport shuttle who told me about this town. He said it was a quirky place with big skies, sunsets, a kind of island in the desert. I moved here for what I called an adult gap year because I was feeling a bit stuck and reaching a point of exhaustion. Now I think I’ll stay. See pics below.
10 years ago: I was in the deep middle of Girls on the Run’s growth. I was completely excited to see something that started with 13 girls in 1996 blossom into a movement. I got to speak to this on a daily basis and spread a kind of unity, a sisterhood, from Birmingham, Alabama, to New York City. We’re still very about this spirit of unity. 10 years ago, I was also seeing that the idea’s power and impact was as much about the adult coaches as the young people.
Today I say: I’m coming full circle, in a way. I left Girls in 2013, a conscious decision to help the organization live on, be its own thing. Now I’m returning to some of the beliefs that started Girls in the first place, like the 5 yard rule. It means, simply: focus on the people right in front of you, literally within 5 yards. Girls on the Run coaches have this kind of relationship with their kids — these intimate bonds are the reason it works at scale. I feel myself circling back to this idea and daily practice.
Surprising facts: Girls who don’t start exercising by the time they are in middle school are far less likely to integrate exercise and movement into their lives. That’s why getting them started at an early age is so important for their health and lifelong well-being.
Trends & changemakers I’m tracking: I celebrate those younger than me who are leading the #MeToo movement and love what these younger people are doing to make all sorts of rooms and spaces ultimately gender neutral. And Greta — this amazing 16 year old who is changing the world and inspiring others to do the same.
An early inspiration: My mother. She got sober at age 40, and I witnessed that — I was in 4th grade. Her alcoholism was very bad. Watching this woman who had been confined to the “girl box” go all in and get sober in a six month period was completely remarkable. Her marriage ended, she lost friends because she was challenging many Southern and feminine norms — but she showed me that transformation is possible for everyone. Even the most lost person has this possibility.
On my bookshelf/playlist: Right now, I’m reading I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron, it’s hilarious, and The Empath’s Survival Guide by Judith Orloff. Actually I’m listening to them — I’m an auditory learner. And podcasts: Malcolm Gladwell’s Revisionist History. He makes the new neurons in my brain fire.
What I want to learn or get better at: I’m working on how to participate in the world as it is without being consumed by it, or becoming cynical and scared. This means some shifts in practice, like not posting reactively on social media. I also want to better understand the corporate mindset and how to skillfully facilitate corporate groups with different passions and ways of showing them than I’m used to.
What young people most need: To be heard, really heard, without someone trying to fix, correct, save, or rescue them, the implied message of which is that they are broken or incomplete. I have come to believe that being really listened to is the closest thing to being loved. I remember when I made that shift with my son.
Last changed my mind: Yesterday! I’ve been working on a new idea called Camp Marfa, but as a side project. Yesterday I realized that I really love this idea and made some decisions to stay here and make it happen. Camp Marfa will be an experiential (week-long) opportunity for folks to explore making a radical shift in their lifestyle — to downsize, simplify and make room for the people and passions that fuel them.
Next up, I’m tagging: A fellow Ashoka Fellow Jill Vialet, the first Fellow I ever met. She is warm and inclusive and really helped give language to who I am at my core.
Follow Molly as she reflects on her Girls on the Run journey so far and breathes life into Camp Marfa at @mollybarkertexas on Instagram.
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This interview was condensed by Ashoka. You can follow Ashoka and this series on Twitter at @AshokaUS and Instagram at @ashoka-usa and sign up for our popular Friday weekly brief here.
We asked Molly for a few more pics of her life in Marfa, here they are!
