The Only Time I Close My Office Door
A brief meditation on meditation
Somebody asked me recently what general advice I’d give young, up-and-coming leaders. My answer was for them to become a voracious learner if they weren’t one, already. This is what I’ve done during the past half dozen years reading scores of books and listening to podcasts. My favorite podcast is The Tim Ferriss Show. He interviews different kinds of people from all walks of life who share one thing in common: they’re exceptionally good at something.
His conversations with them basically seek to deconstruct what makes them tick. I’ve followed Ferriss long enough to conclude that the single most common practice among his many guests is that they meditate.
This was a really important learning for me as a leader. And, about a couple of years ago, I began meditating with help from an app called Headspace. They offer an introductory program “10 Minutes a Day for 10 Days” that starts you with guided meditation. Gradually, I’ve trained myself to do it on my own, using more advanced features. One of the biggest misconceptions about meditation is that it’s all about “quiet” and blotting out the world around you. I think the opposite is probably closer to the mark: meditation puts you in closer touch with your surroundings and with yourself.
Meditating allows me to exercise my mind in a new way, like learning to flex a new muscle. As with any exercise, each person will discover their own level of comfort. For me, 20 minutes has come to feel about right. Meditation helps me understand why I’m feeling the way I do and to put space between a stimulus and response before deciding what to do with it. This process is known in meditation circles as “the sacred pause.” It is completely transforming me as a CEO and a person.
Here’s a “for example.” We at MegaFood are going deep with a philosophy called Conscious Leadership. Conscious leadership is actually the name of both an organization and a program devoted to helping emerging leaders face down their fears and become members of courageous and empathetic teams. At the heart of conscious leadership is the idea that everybody has things that threaten them, called “triggers.” Triggers can elicit strong fight or flight responses that may manifest physically — e.g., tense neck muscles, red face, etc. — and emotionally. Triggers set our amygdala or “lizard brain” to work doing what’s it’s been doing for millennia: protecting us from perceived danger.
The problem is our amygdala doesn’t really differentiate between a T-Rex and words that threaten us.
My triggers include being ignored or misunderstood, having constraints or excuses thrown up as roadblocks to progress, and getting mired in the minutiae of detailed work. And I admit it: low energy people and situations can really put me in a unsympathetic mood.
On the flip side is “fuel,” the things that get me jazzed, include learning new ideas, technologies, or viewpoints that inspire me; teaching or coaching and inspiring other people with big ideas; and engaging with people one-on-one or at events, conferences in social and professional settings about things that mutually interest us.
Needless to say, a typical day in the life of a CEO offers plenty of triggers as well as fuel. This is where meditation kicks in big time by keeping me “ in the present “ when somebody seems to willfully misunderstand the point I’m trying to get across, or insists on dragging our brainstorming session into the weeds. The habit of mind I’ve developed through practicing meditation helps me identify the “threat” for what it really is: not a threat at all but a different viewpoint.
I’m not saying you can’t be present without it, but meditation makes it much easier for me to act on the 15 commitments that underpin conscious leadership. One of the commitments of conscious leadership is to “hold it loosely.” I may have a strong viewpoint of what I hold to be true, but I need to understand that the opposite might be just as true.
This introduces the underrated but highly rewarding practice of active listening. If you and I are having a conversation, I’m not waiting for you to finish so I can say what I’ve come to say. I’m letting what I hear guide what I’m going to say. When our conversation ends, you and I both will feel much better about it because we’ll both feel we’ve said our piece and been heard.
How do you create the space you need to be at your best and set an example of a positive and productive mindset for your team?
Honestly, if you asked my colleagues and friends, they’d probably say I’ve become good enough at this that I actually need to work on striking a better balance between listening and decision making. I’m a natural consensus builder who’s learning how to ask myself, “How much do I really want to listen and achieve consensus on this?”
Sometimes, I have to admit, the answer is “not too much.” And do you know what, I’m okay with that answer, too. And that’s why meditation is the only time I close my door. I’m betting my team, family, and friends are more than happy to give me that space.
Robert U. Craven, MegaFood CEO
PS: All credit to my ghostwriting partner, Dave Moore, who is instrumental in getting my thoughts out in a coherent manner & into these blogs. Thanks Dave!
Originally published at https://www.linkedin.com on June 23, 2018.
