maturity & mortality
Motherhood has been an elusive enigma all my life. What is motherhood? What does it mean to be a mother? It varies from individual to individual, from personality to personality, from experience to experience.
Motherhood is all about feelings we hold in our heart of hearts. The love we feel. Towards our child, towards our mothers, towards our ideal of mother. Approached through our own lived experience and the stories we believe we live through.
The joys and difficulties, complex and layered relationships, the sacred bond and dreams.
I am labeled a single parent but am I really? My child and I grew and developed — surrounded by an ever morphing village of family and friends, strangers and carers — all part of our lives then and now.
Parenting has been the most challenging experience of my life. The uncertainty, the conditioning, the expectations, the tears — hers and mine.
Every day I think, I can’t do this. Every day I think, there’s nothing I’d rather do. Loving this being who isn’t mine but of me.
It is effortless — it is love made manifest — immediate, indestructible, infinite. It is pure magic.
Yesterday, she hugged me so tightly and I hugged her back, so tightly. In that moment I felt indescribable gratitude for the fate that brought her into my world.
She is my magic too.
Originally published at http://changewarrior.blogspot.com.
