3 Habits That Made COVID-19 Isolation a Constructive Experience
How I made the most out of a short-term enclosure
In November 2020, at age 21, I got infected with the coronavirus.
The announcement was followed by a few minutes of silence. I was almost ready to jump into my clothes, pack up my luggage and take the first bus back to my hometown. I got entrenched by fear for a nebulous yet concrete threat that clouded my judgment. The Fear Instinct had consumed my whole being, and thus critical thinking appeared impossible.
My physical health wasn’t of great concern at that time. On the contrary, I was worried about my psychological health, as I was given a job suspension and I had to cancel a hiking project I was preparing for quite some time. As you may
already know, I am a highly enthusiastic outdoor individual, which made the upcoming solitary confinement a possible demise. (boohoo, you might say, there are worse things that can happen). Anyways, my wings of freedom were given a temporary retirement.
Meanwhile, the infection stigma was spreading faster than the virus itself, especially amongst young individuals in their 20s, who were to be held accountable for the coronavirus R.
For starters, the external circumstances were continuously fomenting
my frustration. So, I had to hold my horses and turn inwards in order to achieve even a slight moment of balance. After taking a few conscious breaths, I got grounded and tried to investigate the situation thoroughly.
‘Leaving aside all of my collapsing plans, this would be a unique opportunity for reflection and growth’ I said to my fragile ego.
This was the initial plan: Approach this weird and uncertain circumstance as a chance to cultivate new skills and rejuvenate my resilience. I decided that indulging in an avoidant behavior in the face of adversity would not solve anything. So, I cleaned and organized my house, set up my desk, and made a plan for the next two or more weeks.
To be sincere, having regained my clairvoyance, I felt exhilarated by the unknown and novel situation at hand. I was supposed to stay enclosed for 14 days, but even after my symptoms were ameliorated, I had to maintain and extend my isolation in a partial form. I was being exposed to many patients due to my occupation, so protecting my social circle was of great urgency.
Throughout this month, there were a few habits that I established. They helped me remain sane, functional, connected, and constructive, that’s why I wish to share them with you. I wouldn’t go as far as to say the infamous cliche of ‘This is the new normal’, but I can certainly state that these habits still accompany me to this day, either having a fundamental or supportive role.
So, here goes.
Balance Individuality and Collectivity
According to Greek mythology, human beings are bound by two conspicuous ontological motives: Agape and Eros. Agape refers to natural dependency, the duty to a larger creation, the feelings of connection, oneness, humility, and gratitude while Eros refers to the urge for more life, for active contribution of the individual to the holistic experience and the development of self-powers.
If one gives in too much in Agape, he risks failing the path of individuation. If one gives in too much in Eros, he risks excluding himself from the feeling of unity and gratitude.
Man can’t stand his separateness yet he can’t allow the complete suffocating of his vitality- Ernest Becker
My solitary confinement forced me to fully emerge into and flirt with the compelling powers of Eros. This being mode encapsulates the danger of losing one’s capacity for connection and contribution to the collective experience of the world and thus becoming alienated. Hence, I resolved to counter this temptation and create space for connection and vulnerability:
- I had daily video calls with friends and family, where I tried to be direct
and clear about my emotions like fear, anxiety, or anger - I shared my experience in blogs and social media, alongside other individuals who were going through the same experience
- I joined support groups and talked with professionals in order to comprehend my newly emerging identity and create useful strategies
Shadow Work
The shadow is an unconscious and dark side of our personality. It mainly consists of primitive, negative human emotions and impulses like rage, envy,
greed, and selfishness. Everything that we deny in ourselves or consider incompatible with our character essentially becomes part of our shadow, be it negative or positive qualities.
Although our conscious attitude mediates this process, it can also happen unconsciously. Disowning or sweeping these parts of our psyche under the rug doesn’t make them go away. They stay alive, capable of interacting with
and influencing our conscious experience. They cultivate a space in our mind
palace, like sub-personalities inside a dusty closet. Their echo leaves our behavior everything but unscathed.
For a long time, I ignored the shadow at my own peril.
It was convenient to continue following fixed action patterns, attachment styles, and self-protecting mechanisms. It didn’t require any effort or deep
and demanding work until I had to isolate myself for one month.
The shadow’s emergence caught me unprepared, but also made me curious
about its nature. Then, I purposefully turned my gaze inwards and started exploring this unsettling part of my personality, in order to extract its value.
This process was characterized by many psychological fluctuations, but it
shed light on and explained the whys and hows of my past, which were deeply rooted in my childhood upbringing.
Most importantly, I needed to accept that I engendered a passive/ avoidant attachment style in relationships, colored with touches of narcissism, in the past. Furthermore, I had to accept my physical insecurities, which dictated my fitness obsession. The isolation allowed me to be vulnerable and grief, express my emotions in their full form and navigate using a new sequence of actions.
The use of techniques like meta-cognition, active imagination, and journaling, was paramount in my personal shadow work.
Discomfort Zone Reading
This is an unofficial term of mine, which I use to refer to reading books out of my comfort zone and against the status quo. Normally, people in isolation prefer to occupy their brain with self-help books and novels that can possibly
generate positive emotions.
Throughout past November, I desired inconvenience, rather than temporary positivity.
I willfully embarked for the depths of existentialism, stoicism, and dystopia, as
I felt that the set & setting was peculiar for a journey such as this. Nietzsche, Albert Camus, Marcus Aurelius, Aldous Huxley, and Ray Bradbury, kept me company when the veil of impermanence and loneliness was becoming too
much to handle.
I wouldn’t dare to speak about the positive or negative nature of the experience, as it is entirely subjective. I can only say that my choice was a really special resiliency cultivator, that made me uncomfortable, anxious,
frustrated, but exhilarated and intrigued all in one. The spirits of old visited
me multiple times through my solitary confinement, providing their wisdom
as a gift.
Perhaps, the sacrifice for wisdom was a partial psychological and voluntary suffering, offered to the altar of experience.
“That which we need the most will be found where we least want to look.” ~ Carl Jung
Conclusion
Unknown, uncertain, and tough circumstances can be opportunities for growth, despite their ability to push us to the limit of our strength. Facing
them this way, is not to diminish their overwhelming potential and danger,
but instead, to gaze at them with sobriety and clairvoyance.
Personally, I aspired to transform my inceptive anxiety and irrational thought
for COVID-19 into calmness. Then, I created a precise and intense plan, so as to distill the wisdom hidden in what I was going through. It wasn’t easy, and
I couldn’t have made it through as a better man without external support too.
If you are going through isolation, I advise you to:
- Make a precise plan to achieve daily mental and physical flexibility
- Balance the intertwined powers of Eros (Individuality) and Agape (Collectivity), by taking time to heal but also share your experience
with other people, especially professionals - Face your confinement as an opportunity to explore your unconscious
personality, if your health allows you to. Also, be careful, you might not
like what finally emerges - Expand your mental horizons by practicing discomfort zone reading
