Jun 10, 2020
4 Great Ways to Ditch Your Ego to Find Happiness
I realized I was unhappy because my ego was unhappy.
According to Buddhism, happiness is achieved through reaching a peace of mind which is attainted through detaching from dukkha (sorrow/suffering).
Does our ego make us suffer?
We often feed the ego to diminish suffering. This is why a lot of people seek multiple sexual partners, a relationship, materialistic things, climb the social ladder, want to look the best and so on. All these things are merely feeding our ego. It’s not the path to permanent happiness.
People say “I’ll be happy when…” and fill in the blank with some sort of mentally construed achievement to feed the ego because your ego wants to be happy. Not you.
If you continue to believe what feeds the ego is the path to true happiness, it’ll be a never-ending search for happiness. Our ego makes us suffer because it’ll always want more. You get a new job, ego gets bored, it wants to work it’s way up. Great. Once you work your way up, along comes status and money.
Are you happy? Temporarily yes, then the ego will tell you it isn’t enough. You will go in search for more or something else to feel better. The ego is never happy. It wants more.
Can we overcome our ego?
Human ego will always be there. We want to feel important, needed and wanted. We want to feel as if we belong. Ego helps us with this. It gives us a sense of purpose or belonging and which is okay.
Social media has made our ego hungrier. The number of social media followers, likes and comments on social has us feeling important.
What’s really important is how we navigate this feeling. Instead of comparing and wanting more. Why not we take a step back and mentally isolate ourselves from the world?
Focus on understanding that you are unique to this world. Your life journey won’t exactly be the same as anyone else. No one else is you. This understanding will help you stop comparing yourself to others.
Understanding who you are helps. Understanding that you are unique, by focusing on the present unfolding in front of you and realizing you make up a mere spectacle of the vast universe we live in, will have your ego step back.
General ways to ditch your ego
- focus on servicing others
- list reasons to be grateful
- meditate & be present
- let go of grudges
- let go of control
- let go of materialism
- spend time in nature
- appreciate simple things
- learn more about world issues
- compliment others
- read more
- exercise often
- socialize more with great energy
- repeat self-love affirmations daily
4 Great Ways To Ditch Your Ego
(1) Let go of materialism
When I order online and know a package is coming, I eagerly wait for it until it arrives. That excitement to receive new items lasts temporarily. Afterwards, I forget about the things I bought. I’m back online shopping for more things to buy. It’s never ending.
Materialism isn’t bad if you’re aware it’s not to feed your ego but instead to experience living. Occasionally finding happiness in materialistic things is okay. Understand materialistic things are temporary pleasures.
It’s the difference between buying a Porsche because the experience of driving it makes you happy versus buying a Porsche because you find pleasure in having people on the streets turn heads as you drive by.
(2) Meditate daily
This is something I personally struggle with too. Meditation feels like a waste of time and impossible. My mind will race with a million thoughts as I try to meditate.
Meditation is a skill that’ll develop over time with practice. It is important because it’ll help you truly focus on the present. This focus will bring a new understanding of being.
Try to start with a 2-minute daily meditation and work your way up to longer. Headspace is a great app that helps you get started with mediation. I also love meditation to guided meditation videos on Youtube.
(3 )Focus on doing service for others
I’ve travelled quite a bit but when I visited a floating village in Cambodia something happened in me. I couldn’t believe people lived life in a tiny home floating on water with 5 pieces of clothing and only rice to eat.
What hit me deeper was seeing a group of men playing instruments near Angor Watt temple with a sign that read something along the lines of “we want to preserve I dignity, we don’t want to beg anymore.” That hurt.
Doing something small and selfless every day for someone else is more than enough. For instance, in Canada, it’s kind of the norm for us to hold the door open for strangers. It’s a great feeling seeing someone truly appreciate a small act of kindness.
(4) Don’t hold grudges and let go of control
Don’t let your ego control you. Don’t believe that your job title, how you look or what you possess defines you. What defines you are your thoughts, your behaviour towards others and your energy. Your positive energy.
There was once a time in my life when I let the overflow of compliments from strangers on my looks get to my head. My ego relished in it. Every day I felt the pressure to look perfect when leaving the house because my ego wanted to continue hearing these compliments from strangers.
One day when I realized I had become dependent on looking good before leaving the house, I ditched the makeup. Makeup was supposed to be creative and fun for me. Not something to feed my ego.
Don’t hold grudges because that is your ego telling you that it’s upset it didn’t get what it wanted or that it wasn’t treated how it wanted to be treated.
If someone did something bad to you, let it go and keep living your life. There is so much more to life than petty grudges. Forgive people for their mistakes. Or just don’t think about it at all. Set higher standards for yourself. Focus on what you can do next to better your life.
