4 Signs You’re A Truly Compassionate Person

Compassion will change the trajectory of your life and others

Are you a compassionate person? Most people think compassion is something we naturally have.

But the truth is, just like any other skill, compassion towards yourself and others takes work and practice. You can’t magically become a compassionate and kind person overnight.

If you want to be truly happy, you need to practice compassion.

The Dalai Lama once said “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

His remarks capture a simple truth: Despite popular belief that happiness depends solely on you, the way to achieve it may not lie just within yourself, but in your relationships and interactions with others.

If you’d like to become more compassionate, learn to develop these healthy habits in your own life.

1. You’re Kind To Yourself

Self-compassion is actually really, really key to becoming a more compassionate person overall.

It’s hard to feel for other people something we don’t feel for ourselves.

Practising self-love is a little different than self-esteem, is also crucial to beating bad habits in other aspects of our lives. We often think the way to change bad behaviour is to beat ourselves up.

• Don’t believe everything you think.
• Stopp the comparisons.
• Celebrate your wins no matter how big or small.
• Embrace and love the things that make you different.

But self-compassion is actually the first step in changing any behaviour you want to change. According to recent research, those who practise self-compassion are more motivated and go for their goals.

“Lack of forgiveness causes almost all of our self-sabotaging behaviour” — Mark Victor Hansen

2. You’re Mindful

When you’re exercising compassion, you’re putting yourself in the present moment.

Compassionate people aren’t listening and checking their smartphones at the same time — they’re present, offering their empathetic response to the story right in front of them.

• Paying attention to detail — being completely present.
• A developed attitude that is non-judgmental, curious, and kind.
• Understand your thoughts are not who you are.

This awareness is crucial to compassion because it allows you to really focus on others rather than your own reflections. Mindfulness allows us to develop a different relationship with our feelings.

Feelings or thoughts may come up, but mindfulness we can sort of see them as clouds floating by. Not getting caught up in our feelings is really helpful for a happier life.

“One of the most freeing insights of meditation practise is realising that the only power thoughts have is the power we give them” — Sam Harris

3. You Express Gratitude

Doing things that energise us up and make us feel good — people think of that as being selfish, but often that leads us to better behaviour toward other people.

One way to do that is to count the positives. Whether or not you’ve committed a lot of compassionate acts in your life, chances are you’ve been on the receiving end at least once or twice.

• Tell the people in your life you appreciate them.
• Changed mindset from “I have to” to “I get to”. Take nothing for granted.

Empathetic individuals not only acknowledge those acts of kindness done unto them, they actively express gratitude for them.

Just thinking about our gratitude for other people makes us feel happy. And it’s slowing down and expressing those types of things that make us more caring and loving.

“If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily.” — Gerald Good

4. You Find Commonalities With Other people

Compassionate people know what it’s like to be down on their luck, and they keep those experiences in mind to develop a more empathetic nature, whether through volunteering or just simply networking.

Compassionate people are very outward-focused because they think and feel about other people.

They have the ability to feel others’ feelings, so they’re very socially connected. In one small study, researchers found that humans’ sense of compassion actually increases when there’s a common connection with the other person.

It suggests that the compassion we feel for others is not solely a function of what befalls them: if our minds draw an association between a victim and ourselves — even a relatively trivial one — the compassion we feel for their suffering is amplified greatly.

“The degree to which you love yourself will determine your ability to love the other person, who will be reflecting back to you many of your own personality traits and qualities.” — Sanaya Roman