5 Stupid Things Society Wants You to Do
“Society is funny. They ask you to be yourself and yet they judge you” — Unknown
Most of us lived by conditioning through the lens of society when we are used to a child. This society norm starts early from our school, cultural, social circle then our work environment that told us how to live life properly. That is difficult for us to not be influenced by any of these lies when we grow up because they always whispering into our ears all the time.
This society’s norm wants you to be fit into their expectation. They shape you to think and speak just what they want to hear. Even though, you have an inner voice to speak the truth, question their authority, or criticize their perspective. But you do nothing, just follow the crowd then you will be fine and safe for good.
But the truth is there is nothing wrong with saying what you mean, getting disagreement, or breaking the rule as long as you listen to your inner voice. Just remember, you only have one life, so do not waste your time living a life based on other’s people expectations of you.
I’m not trying to brainwash your mind to become ignorant about the opinions of your friends, boss, parent, teacher, or anyone. But what I want you to do is just reconsider and rethink for a while of what they told you to do these kinds of stupid things time by time. Here are a few stupid things about society’s norms that most of us follow when we grow up.
1. Follow the Majority Voice
We tend more to believe on the majority voice because we think that is true. Even though, in other cases, we know it is not but it does not make any difference we still keep following it.
This happens because our human nature to make a living depends on other’s people, it gives us more security and certainty once we fit with their expectations. Otherwise, if we don’t meet their expectation, it makes us in position more dangerous and threatened because being alone is risky for our survival mechanism. This is also why sometimes we are more struggle to say no to other’s people than say yes to ourselves.
But is it still relevant to deal with modern challenges by using our ancestor’s instincts? Yes, it’s not. It means you will be okay if you don’t follow the majority voice.
However, the truth, is even though you follow your path but this crazy society will try to convince you that you take the wrong path and you will be alone for the rest of your life. But sometimes to be alone is always a better choice than being surrounded by the wrong people.
Do not worry about this society’s tricks, just focus on yourself and create the work that matters, then others will join you as the result.
2. Do the Right Thing at Certain Age
We’ve been told by society that we must do the right thing at a certain age, they told you to get a college degree at your 22, get married before you’re 30, have a kid before you’re 40, buy a house as soon as possible, retire at 60 and so on.
I lived in a conservative country where almost everyone thinks there is the right time to do the right thing at a certain age.
How possibly they know what’s the right time to do the right thing base on social conditioning that they just made up by themselves.
But aside from all that, is it something wrong to get a college degree at 58 instead of 21? is it something wrong to get married at 34 instead of 28? is it something wrong that you don’t want to have a kid but a cat? is it something wrong to retire at 35 instead of 60?
There is nothing wrong with any of these and no one knows the exact time to do the right thing at a certain age.
Never let society put pressure on you to do something you don’t want to do. If you want to get married at 25, then do it but if you want to settle until 35, it’s your choice and if you change your mind to not get married at all, it’s your call. Yes, I know most of us are afraid what society thinks of us based on our age currently, but the truth is whether you decide to get married or not, people will talk behind your back no matter what. So, f*ck the society.
Society will never tired to intervene your own life and make you doubt that you make a wrong decision, just don’t listen to them, you are exactly where you need to be. No one knows what is best for you except yourself.
3. Get Defensive Behaviour
The meaning of defensive behavior is reactive mode of responding to situation or conversation. This what society wants you to do is to react unconsciously no matter what situation is even the most trivial things always get your attention. If you tell your friend that he is wrong, the most common response that you get is his reactive mode because he feels offended.
This society norm wants you to support their perspective, belief, and argument. They want you to be exactly as they are.
However, the truth is it’s okay if you want to say and act what’s right, none of your business if they feel offended by your opinion. Choosing yourself always is not selfish, it’s self-care.
Other’s people responses or reaction is not something that you can control, so never waste your time focusing on something outside your control.
Society is free to say whatever they want and inevitably they will make you offended in the end. So, you should learn how to cope with your emotion by detaching your feeling from society’s expectations.
4. Get College Degree Then You Can Stop Learning After
It sounds familiar, right?
We have been conditioned through formal education that a college is a place where we need to study the most. Yes, it’s true I can’t deny it. But it doesn’t mean you stop learning after it, getting college degree is not the end, it’s just beginning of the learning process.
Our brain is shaped by society either is our teachers or friends to believe that getting a college degree is the only way to have a good life. The harsh truth, it’s not. Yes, getting college degree will increase your chance to have a good life but it’s not guaranteed it.
You will be far left behind from having a good life if you count on college degree without learning even further. Your brain is just like a muscle, the moment when you stop learning, that’s the moment when it starts dying.
Keep yourself on learning from anything it can be courses, books, podcasts, experience, painting, or anything.
There are many valuable lessons that you can get beyond your formal education.
Getting formal education is good for you to make a living but your self-education is more important for you to make a life.
“Making a living is not the same thing as making a life”
5. Getting More Material Possessions
Society is perfectly conditioning us to measure something valuable based on material possession.
Let me share some examples and explain further what does it mean.
How luxuriate your wedding party doesn’t reflect how meaningful your relationship with your partner is, how rich you are doesn’t mean you have a fulfilled life, and how gorgeous your appearance does not always represent what you feel inside.
You cannot always measure something valuable by trying to accumulate more stuff, these things are the external thing which is important to fix your external problem, but your internal problem either your health or relationship can never be fixed by how many material possessions you have.
Love, true friendship, joy, fulfillment life, integrity, character, healthy life, and authenticity are something more valuable than money itself.
Getting more money is liberating and it opens more options if it is used wisely. But, if it’s to used as a benchmark to measure how society values yourself, you will spend the rest of your life by living in the bubble.
“Your peers will respect you for your integrity and character, not your possessions.”
— David Robinson
