A Lesson That Can Help You Be a Better Person Every Day

Don’t let anything or anyone convince you to be unkind, impatient or inconsiderate

Photo by Katie Drazdauskaite on Unsplash

Have you noticed all the little things we often want throughout our days?

Some of them being kindness, a little bit of convenience and of course, joy. With these, we also know some of what we don’t want, like unkindness, inconvenience and constant anxiety. These things are pure parts of us that we each seek throughout our days to make us feel good and quite importantly, to keep us sane.

But quite often, as we go about our days and meet with different people and situations, our emotions are stirred by overthought-out worries and deep-seated fears, which muddies our internal view of the things we so desperately seek.

So much that how we approach getting what we want is almost ruined

It’s a lot like this — when the kindness we deeply seek is lost among those who use unkindness as a weapon, we may, for the moment, be so overwhelmed that we lose ourselves in trying to protect our pure intention by holding an impure one, like choosing to be unkind towards those who are unkind or responding to an insult with an insult.

Don’t get me wrong, this is sometimes necessary to teach someone a lesson and humble them, but if you do not know how to control this, you may cause more damage than necessary to others and yourself.

Because if not controlled well, your worries, fears and emotions will control you

They will make it difficult to stand up straight and face your everyday life. I mean, you still will face your life, but you will do it without composure, without authenticity and most importantly, with a shallow understanding.

But if you take a moment to yourself to calm yourself down, to look deeper into a person or situation and, using reasonable assumptions, try to understand what’s happening on a deeper level, then your perspective will change, your emotions will ease and you will see clearly once again.

It is a difficult process to better your perspective, but it is a rewarding one

Instead of responding to an insult with an insult, you settle it with understanding. You learn how to show kindness to those who need it most. You learn how to bring joy to where it is forgotten.

Regardless of how you may be stirred by the influences of people and situations, you still remain your own, you still hold your freedom to choose to be good people.

To do this well, it is quite important that you,

Understand Your Intention

Deep inside of you, there is something that you seek, something that you want every day. It may be a little silence in a noisy room, a little patience and calm on a rushed day, or a little understanding to ease the tension you feel within.

Whatever it is that you seek within, see it, acknowledge it and take responsibility for it, like a parent would for a child they deeply care for. Do your best to keep it within your care, safe from the influences of the outside world.

If you don’t, this will only affect how you approach getting what you want, which may lead to you seeking your solace, your calm in people and situations, instead of yourself and who you choose to be.

Take the time to understand and protect what you deeply seek, so that you do not become the noisy room, the rushed day or inconsiderate person.

Don’t Muddy Your Approach To Getting What You Seek

Throughout your days, like me, like every other human being on this planet, you will face many different people and situations that will influence you in some way. They may make you feel good or they may make you feel bad, but they will have some influence over you. It is not really something that you can control.

But as Viktor Frankl so humbly taught us, we can’t always control the stimuli, the influence, but we can control our response

If you often expect a person or situation to be kind to you and they disappoint you or anger you in some way, instead of allowing your emotions to convince you to give in to this unkind influence and become absolutely unkind, you lead yourself down a different path, a patient one that helps you doubt this influence enough to bring you the understanding you need to be better than the situation.

Learn how to lead yourself through the moments that stir your emotions, so that you don’t try to get what you want by being absolutely unkind, impatient and inconsiderate.

Think Beyond Yourself

When you get caught up in your head, it’s very isolated, it’s very lonely. The thoughts that stir your emotions, fears and worries rob you of your focus, making you forget reality and quite often, the simple truth that this is a natural part of life faced by everyone. Even the strongest of us feel overwhelmed by life at times.

This is a humbling truth that you should keep with you to help you feel a little less alone

And more than this, when you see that someone is being unkind to you, you don’t take them so personally that you lose your composure. Instead, you understand that they too face their own life and that this is how they have accustomed themselves to getting what they want.

In this realization lives a sort of power because it brings you understanding, which gives you the freedom to choose to be different, to choose to be better.

It’s like Marcus Aurelius said, everyone may face misfortune, but not everyone will face it well.

Photo by Bruno van der Kraan on Unsplash

More than anything else, I understand that everyone has their own way of facing life, the good and bad of it. And I cannot judge them for being the way that they are because I haven’t lived their life. But, for me, at least, I can choose a different way.

A way that makes sense to me

I mean, it only makes sense to me to be so self-reliant that you don’t allow the outside world to stop you from being who you are or to force you to act in a way that makes you dislike yourself.

Because you will never be who others want you to be, but always who you choose to be

And so I leave you with this lesson — not demanding that you master it, but only that it will make enough sense to you to practice it, or some parts of it at least, and let it help you be, as Mahatma Gandhi said, the change you wish to see in the world.

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Invest In Your Existence, Kind Reader.

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René Chunilall

René Chunilall

Sharing the lessons I learn on my journey towards self-mastery | I post videos on Instagram too: https://instagram.com/omni_rene